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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

10.5 weeks post op - Ortho appointment

I wanted to make a quick update, since I promised in my last post that I would when I saw my surgeon!

First off, lately I've got a lottt of views on my blog. At first there weren't many, and so I just wrote whatever, but suddenly it jumped and tons of people have started to view all my posts, and it made me realize that I actually kind of have an audience and I shouldn't be so negative all the time! I'm the kind of person who always tends to look on the bad side of things (unfortunately) but for the sake of all of you who are reading this, I will try to include a lot more positive things about the surgery and post op process, as I'm sure some of  you will be undergoing surgery soon and I don't want to make it seem like it's all bad!

Anyways, my ortho appointment. I didn't have a set time that I was supposed to be there, just as long as I went today. I think the receptionist didn't give me a time because she assumed I was coming straight from my surgeon's office like I usually do. Anyways I saw my orthodontist almost right away, he took a look at my teeth and said I needed to wear elastics again :( to be honest I'm not all that surprised, I've been watching my bite like a hawk these last couple weeks and even I noticed a difference in the way it looked and felt, so I'm actually kind of relieved that elastics are on again, now nothing can move out of place! He put the elastics on each side, in a triangle - what I mean by that, is that the elastic is hooked onto the top and bottom hook like usual, but stretched farther back and looped onto the next hook at the bottom. I'll post pictures soon if that doesn't make sense!
I have to wear the elastics like this all day every day. Which doesn't necessarily bug me. What bugs me is that none of my surgical hooks are being used, and yet my ortho won't take them off, cause I see my surgeon in 2 weeks time, and my surgeon might tell me I need them again. Understandable but it still sucks.

Other than that everything is still the same as the last time I updated. I really need to talk to my surgeon about the pain in my head. I found a sore spot, pushed on it, and the pain was so excruciating that I just cried for hours. Right now I'm going through a bit of a stressful time, I have to worry about paying tuition and residence fees on time, I'm completely broke, no job, worrying about my jaw... It's not that bad, but it's still more stress than I've gone through in a while.

So what's everyone doing for the long weekend? For my Canadian friends, I mean. Canada Day is monday!! I'm so excited cause I'm going camping again at my friends uncles. You know, the place I went to just over a month ago when I had my car accident? I really love the place and I'm pretty excited.

Anyways, I hope you guys are having a good start to your week and I hope the rest of the week is good to you as well! I promise to update soon.

xo

Friday, June 21, 2013

69/70 days post op

Thought I'd do an update for you all since... Well... I'm bored out of my mind.
It's 2 am so technically it's 70 days post op but since I haven't slept yet I'm just gonna say it's 69 days post op! I'd be happy about this, except for the fact that's its been 10 weeks post op and I have another 2 weeks to go before I can chew... not that that's stopped me. I feel so horrible but I can't help but chew my food. It's just a reaction I instantly have. I've chewed almost everything I've ate. And yes, I've ate meat and foods that require chewing. I've been bad. I feel bad. So I'm gonna dedicate the last 2 weeks to not chewing.

I see my ortho Tuesday. Last time I was there, a week and a half ago, we took my elastics off fully for 2 weeks, and if nothing moves, I keep the elastics off until I see my surgeon 2 weeks later. Then, whatever he says, goes. I am praying that nothing moved. But knowing my luck with all this bullshit, I'm sure something did move.

I'm still having pain in the left side of my head. It's really irritating, and this last week I've been getting headaches, which is normal for some people, but I never get headaches. Ever.

I'm still not sure if this was worth it. I didn't get much, if anything, out of it. The only good thing about it so far is that it's a great conversation starter or a good topic to talk about. "So... I have a bunch of titanium plates and screws in my face". I actually met some of Evan's family the other day, his Grandmother, Aunt and Cousin. His aunt has had a horrible time this past year, a doctor accidentally poked holes in both her lungs and she went through multiple surgeries to fix it, including a month long artificial coma. She's recovering well, but it's been almost 10 months since and she's just starting to walk unassisted. She was a huge inspiration for me, knowing that she went through and survived what she did, it kept me strong through the last few days pre-op and gave me hope since being post op. But they are lovely people and I'm glad I met them.

I'm almost completely numbness-free and my bite still looks fab. Lately I've been able to fit 3 fingers in my mouth instead of 2, which I think is awesome progress.
Other that that I've just been trying to live my life. I've been taking Sasha for long walks, every time upping it a kilometer. So far we're at 4.5 km but I'm trying to go higher, it's good for both me and her. I took Chloe to the park today and she was quite content :)
I'm trying to get schooling stuff together. It's frustrating because we're paying tuition through an education fund but I need someone from the registrar to fill out some forms, but I can't find the # for the registrar? Payment is due on the 5th of July, where as Rez fees are due on the 1st and I haven't received an email with the fees statement and whatnot. It's kind of hectic because my A.D.D. numbs my brain and makes me feel retarded when I try to do this stuff alone, I need serious help understanding this stuff and it's really the simplest thing to understand. I hate how my brain doesn't just intake information like most people's do. It's like there are guards blocking my brain and any information that wants to be absorbed needs the fucking password.

I will for sure update after I see my orthodontist on Tuesday. Hope you guys have been having a better couple weeks than I have lmfao :)

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Surgeon's appointment, 8 and a half weeks post op

So I wanted to do a a quick update on the appointments I had with my surgeon and my orthodontist today.

I woke up late this morning... as usual. Rushed to get ready, and got to my surgeons office in record timing. I waited for him for like half an hour... 10 min in the waiting room and 20 in the "dentist room" as I call it. While I was in the waiting room, this elderly lady comes in and is like "I'm here for my 11:45 am appointment with Dr. (Insert name here)." It was 9:30 am. What the?

So anyways he finally comes into the Dentist Room and checks my bite, says it's good, and then wiggles my upper jaw. He then says that my upper jaw STILL isn't attached to my face and that he wants me to ask my orthodontist about having my elastics off fully now. This makes me nervous because I feel like my bite shifts throughout the day. It gets farther and farther apart. Anyways, he says because my upper jaw still isn't attached, he would prefer I don't chew food for another month, or at least eat food that requires minimal chewing. My heart sank, these have been the best 4 days of my life.
The shitty thing is that I won't be seeing my surgeon for another month, so everything has slowed down a month basically. Bleh.

Then I went to my orthodontist. I was in and out in 5 minutes which is unusual but hey I'm not complaining. I told my ortho about having the elastics off completely now, and he was hesitant but said that we would have them off for 2 weeks, I would then see him again, and if nothing moved then we keep them off until I see my surgeon 2 weeks after that. But he said it would be too much of a pain to take the surgical hooks off and then have to put them back on, so they're gonna be on for at least another month.

The only good news I got today was that I got accepted into a Single Room for residence. Other than that I'm pretty depressed about the whole thing, I feel like I've completely wasted my time with this process. I have pain on the side of my face, I still cant chew, I hate my physical features (most of them) and everything is taking so god damn fucking long to heal.
Honestly I should have never done this.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Tomorrow is 8 weeks post-op!!!

Hey everyone!

So so sorry that I haven't been posting lately. I don't actually remember the last time I posted... How sad is that?

Anyways I wanted to do an update because up until the last couple days, everything has been normal with my jaw and my life. But since a few things have arisen with both my jaw and my day-to-day life, I figured it was time to make an update. So yes, this will be an update on both my Jaw Surgery progress and my general life happenings.

So first I'll start by saying that tomorrow I will be exactly 8 weeks post-op!! And everyone knows what that means... I finalllllyyyy get to chew!
I've been pretty bad when it comes to eating though. I've literally ate everything I'm not supposed to. Bread, Meat, big chunky pasta, you name it. Well... I haven't ate crackers or pizza, so I guess I haven't been too bad. And I never actually chewed any of this... except the bread. I took little pieces and mushed it behind my back molars where my wisdom teeth used to be, the gummy part. So actually I have been pretty bad.
My next appointment with my surgeon isn't until Tuesday and I know that most people would wait until they see their surgeon to start chewing food but when I saw him last week I said "So I can start chewing 2 Fridays from now?" and he replied "Yes, but start off with the soft foods you've been just swallowing. You can't go straight to meat and raw veggies. Cooked veggies and pasta are a good starter." So That's exactly what I'm doing. Tomorrow Evan is coming down and we're having lunch together so he can see me chew my first meal since surgery. I'm so excited it's not even funny.

Now onto pain. The last couple days have been weird... I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but after surgery I developed pain on the left side of my head, right above my ear and in my temple. It was never that big of an issue for me, because I only felt the pain if there was any pressure on that side - if I leaned on my hand with it, if I pushed it, etc. But today has been strange... I've been getting bad pain in my temple / side of head, and I can even feel it behind my eyeball. It's more irritating than painful, but it still bothers me that there's something wrong there and I don't know what it is. I kind of consider myself a... Hypochondriac? If that's the name of someone who thinks they have every disease and issue in the world then that's definitely me. I don't think looking at this screen is helping either. When I see my surgeon I'll bring it up and maybe he'll do a 3D scan of my head. Who knows.

Numbness! I'm actually really excited to talk about the numbness in my face and I don't really know why. Over the last couple weeks there has been a dramatic difference in numbness. Originally my lower lip and my chin were completely numb. Now, I would say I have about 90% feeling back in my lower lip, and 80% back in my chin. There is a spot right in the middle of my chin that's at about 30% but it's getting higher every week. I have an optimistic feeling that I'm not going to have any numbness in my face in a few months. But here's the really cool part - I was putting on lip balm the other day and every time I got to this one spot on my lip, a hair that had fallen off my head and gotten stick to my lipbalm kept tickling the same spot in my chin... or so I thought. Turns out that it wasn't a hair at all, it was just my nerves! It was the coolest feeling, and since then the feeling has intensified, every time I touch that spot on my lip the nerves in this one little spot on my chin go crazy! They go even more crazy when I rub the edge of my lower lip under that one spot. Oh, and I put something cold on that spot on my lip the other day? I felt the coldness in that spot on my CHIN, not on my lip! It's amazing.

Onto other surgery related things. I can fit 2 fingers in my mouth, and almost 3 if I really push it, which I don't want to do. I can easily move my jaw side to side, and I can shift my lower jaw forward enough that my lower teeth are actually significantly more forward than my upper teeth. I think I'm pushing it too much though, and that may be why I'm starting to get noticeable pain in the side of my head. My surgical hooks are still on but I'm praying they come off soon. I'm so done with these elastics, let me tell ya. Still wearing 4 of them, still wearing them when I'm asleep. The shitty part is, I don't even need my bottom surgical hooks so I don't even know why they're still on.

When it comes to my looks, I'm really on the fence. I love how I have a defined chin and it seems to fit my face well. I love how I have defined cheek bones as well. However I absolutely hate my nose. It's so upturned that it looks too short and very piggy. And I dislike that my lips aren't noticeably closer together. If you've read my old posts, you'd notice I talked about how my biggest desire out of this surgery was for my lips to close. I knew they couldn't be closed all the way without making myself look unattractive but I was hoping for a bit of a difference. Since I am able to pucker my chin muscles a little bit without making it noticeable, I can make it look like my lips are naturally closer together, when in reality I'm actually putting the same amount of force into it than I used to.
All in all, I'm on the fence about whether or not the surgery was worth it, but I'm leaning more to the "Yes" side. My bite is beautiful, I'm generally pleased with the "new" features of my face, and my numbness is almost 100% gone.

So that's pretty much it. I'm really lucky that the car accident didn't affect my jaw at all. Going through another surgery would be hell.

Other than that, life has been pretty basic, with a lot of random drama. For one, I was having a hell of a time with this gym membership. Not sure if I mentioned it already... but even if I have OH WELL. So I joined this gym 2 weeks before surgery.. they told me they could postpone my payments while I'm on medical leave. So I emailed the girl then night before surgery (like she told me to) never heard anything, and they were still charging me. So about 3 weeks after surgery I called and spoke to the manager, and she said she would postpone my payments for 2 months. I thought the situation was dealt with... and it wasn't. 3 weeks ago tomorrow, I noticed they were STILL charging me. So 2 weeks ago I walked into the gym and asked to speak to the manager. They called her down but she was just about to do a conference call or some BS so they took my number and said she would call me... she never did. So last week I got fed up and called. I spoke to the manager and although I was nice about it, I definitely made it clear that I was not happy. So once again she said she would deal with it... she said she would send me an email confirming that she did it, like she said she would last time and never did, so I hung up and waited for the email. Never got it. I was so mad at this point... I seriously thought I was gonna be charged again... So Friday came around and I checked my account... and so far they haven't charged me a thing! So glad that's dealt with.

Another issue is school... I've been trying to get in contact with someone for a bit about some accommodations. I have A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder, although now they classify is as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and after calling a couple times I finally spoke to someone about it and got the answers I needed.

And looking for a job! I messaged my boss a couple weeks ago about working... but she texted me back and said I wasn't needed for a while. Apparently things are slow at the Groomers and since I can't work with the dogs... I'm not really needed. So now I'm onto looking for a new job. I'm ridiculously picky when it comes to jobs. But I found my dream job... It's pretty much Pet Retail. The place is very laid back and it's not too far, it still concerns animals (the last time I was in there, there were cats chillin on random posts) and since I've had experience in retail I think I'd do well there... Except you have to apply online, and that location isn't hiring. The closest location is in Toronto. Hell. No. Nonetheless I'm going to walk in and hand in my resume one of these days.

Other than that, my life has been about, eating, sleeping, and watching make up tutorials on Youtube. Evan got a job working Night shift, it was supposed to be part time but since a couple people have left he's working 40 hrs a week. It would be easier if we were in the same town but since we're not, I never see him. Boo hoo. :(

Well, that's all the bitching I need to do for today! I hope you jaw surgery under-goers or survivers enjoyed this post and found it informative. And possibly found humor in my pathetic day to day life? Who knows.

I'm making it my mission to post before and after pictures this week, but until then here are a couple recent pictures of myself! Talk to you soon xo

A day after the car accident


In the hospital after the car accident.

again

I got bored idk.


Sasha :)

Blurry but this my profile 6weeks postop.




camping right after the car accident

baby goat :)

probably my favourite picture of my profile.

he kept biting my fingers lol :)


Chloe :)

again :)

Sasha's silly face


<3

Evan <3

my favs



<3