random life blog + 16 weeks post op!!

Hello again readers!

First off I'd like to apologize for being aw ay for so long. It's been over 5 weeks since I last posted, but nothing of importance has happened regarding my jaw surgery. However it has been a while so I thought I'd do an update on my life and how my jaw has been lately! :)

So lately, my jaw has been good. Nothing bad has happened, and no milestones have been made either. What I mean by that, is even though I have been stretching my jaw routinely for the past 5 weeks, I haven't made any progress. I can fit 3 fingers vertically in my mouth (using this as measurement lol) and that's really pushing it. Where my jaw connects on the left side of my face becomes extremely painful when I try to stretch my jaw, but there's no issues on my right. I can tell that my right side would have no problem being stretched a lot more, but my left is just locked into place. I'm going to keep working on it, but I'm a little concerned, so if it doesn't stretch anymore in the next month I'll definitely bring this up to my surgeon.

Now, onto chewing!!
Honestly it's hard to talk about food right now as I just inhaled a San Diego Wrap from Shoeless Joe's and now I'm feeling very ill, but this is an important part of my healing process so I must write about it!
I kind of have a love/hate relationship with chewing right now. At times it's pretty painful - A lot of food still can't fit in my mouth, and the foods that I have been craving are so hard to chew. Things like bagels are a huge struggle, and even though I thought chewing gum would help, it doesn't. But, it feels so good to chew again and eat delicious foods that I couldn't eat for 3 months, that I've gained 7 pounds in the last 5 weeks. I don't think that I look bigger, but I feel bigger. I feel more sluggish and gross and just... blah, then I did when I was on a restricted diet. So starting tomorrow I'm eating healthy! Lots of healthy homemade smoothies, salads, and home-cooked chicken. Overall though, it's been a struggle, and a painful one at that.

That's really all there is to know about my jaw! I will be seeing my orthodontist on the 6th of August and hopefully I'll hear some good news about my braces, or even the elastics I wear. I'm supposed to be wearing them all day everyday, but then that means no talking. Ever. My surgeon says I must keep my jaw closed when the elastics are on. Soooo I'm kind of only wearing them when I sleep... and lately that's been about 12 hours so at least it's half the day? We'll see what my orthodontist says (fingers crossed!)

August is actually going to be such a crazy month for me, and I just pray that it's going to be crazy in a good way. Not only do I have my orthodontist appointment, but I have to see my doctor, I have an appointment to see a specialist that I've been trying to see for 10 bloody months now (and whatever appointments I have to make with her after that), I have to do shopping for my residence room and school, I have plans to do something almost every free day I have (Zoo trip, Beach trip), and, my favourite part about this month... my birthday!!

I will be turning 20 on August 19th. It's really a huge shock for me. Usually it's just another birthday, but this year it's kind of a big deal to me. I won't be a teen anymore, I won't be considered a "child", I'll be an adult, and being an adult means taking on a lot more responsibility, more than I think I can handle at this point in my life. I've always been very childish at heart and I know that going to school and having no one to take care of me or be there for me when I'm having trouble with school assignments (or whatever it may be) is huge for me. I'm going to struggle miserably... but this is life, and if I can't do this, then I won't be able to make it on my own. My parents won't be far away, and knowing them, if I'm sick or struggling with anything, they'd wanna drive up and help me. But I feel like that's cheating life, and I need to prove to myself that I can do this on my own.

Anyways! Since I'm on the topic of school, I think I'll talk about everything that's been going in my personal life (non-jaw surgery related)!

This past week I've been at the cottage with my family and Evan. We don't own a cottage to ourselves but we rent out a cottage just outside of Fenelon Falls for a week every summer for the last 4 years. Except for a few little incidents with my sister I had a lot of fun! Evan and I watched every single Harry Potter, went into town quite a bit, spent some time alone on the beach in Fenelon, and we went into Bobcaygeon, a neighbouring town, to do a bit of shopping. I almost bought some Michael Kors shoes but they were too Daft Punk for me. Very flashy.
Unfortunately, this year the cottage was pretty run down. The water for the cottage comes from a well, and the water in the well was very little, so it contained a lot of iron/sulphur. Needless to say, you couldn't turn the tap on for more than a second without smelling sewage. The toilets were stained because of it (although it came right out with Lysol cleaner we bought so idk what the weekly cleaning ladies are doing), the wifi was awful! It was basically dial-up. And oh my god, the garbage was disgusting! The people who were there the week before us accidentally put their garbage in the wrong shed for pick up. So we moved it to the right shed, and there were at least 2 additional weeks of garbage in there! The caretakers have really let it get bad. We're really on the fence on if we're going back next year or not. Maybe if things get fixed there... who knows. We took a lot of photos, and Evan took gorgeous photos of the stars with my Nikon SLR so I'll post those below.

Other than the cottage, I've put all my focus into schooling. I registered for my classes last week, which makes this whole "living on your own and actually going to school again" thing so much more real. It's a very exciting yet nervous feeling. I hate the thought of being away from my family. My home has been my safety net since my anxiety started up, I hate leaving my house because I am 100% anxiety-free here. I think this will be good for me though, pushing me outside my comfort zone to become a functioning member of society.
The one thing I'm really excited about is my elective I'm taking. The one reason I've been kicking myself in the back for not staying in school and getting into University is because I wanted to take cool lecture courses like Psychology and stuff... and, as luck has it, one of the choices for my electives was Principles of Psychology!! I was debating between that and Social Psychology.
Not that anyone is interested, but I'm so proud of actually having college courses and being a college student that I'm going to post my schedule down below with the other pictures.

I am a hugeeee make-up junkie, and so I finally went shopping in Sephora and MAC a couple weeks ago. Literally a girls paradise. From MAC I bought a cream highlighter in Radiant Rose, a powder highlighter in Soft and Gentle, and one of the Mineralized Skin Finish setting powders in Light Plus. From Sephora I bought a matte cream lip stain in number 03 from the Sephora Collection and a waterproof lip pencil in number C3 from MakeUpForEver, however it was too dark so I exchanged it for C1, which is still dark but a bit better. The cream lip stain kind of disappointed me though, it's supposed to be non-transferable and I've tested it, it's transferred every time. Also it's supposed to be a raspberry pink color but on me it looks like Clown Red. I think I should start doing Make Up reviews hahaha.

Well this has been an incredibly long long post about my life lol. Probably unnecessarily long but whateverrrr. Here are the pictures I promised. I hope to post a lot more and I'll be doing an update when I see my ortho!

My favourite of Evan and Chloe :)

what my face looks like 3.5 months post op

lol omg

With each star picture Evan added 5 more seconds of shutter speed so we could get more stars.
This is how the last picture turned out.

These were a bitch to upload cause they were in .NEF format, so I hope you like them!

This post is a bit more personal than most, but when I started making my blog, everything in my life was jaw surgery related. My life was pretty much put on hold because of the surgery, and then while I was recovering, the first couple months were all about my jaw and how the healing was going. Now that everything has slowed down, and not much is going on, this is becoming a lot more of a personal blog.

Hope you enjoyed and I'll update soon
xoxo

13 weeks post op Update

Great news everyone! (You definitely read that in Professor Farnsworth's voice)

So I had my appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday. Nothing new had been going on until that point... well, actually one thing. But I'll mention that in a second.

I went to see him and he told me that he's pretty much done with any adjustments he had to do and that it's all up to my orthodontist now! I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I told him about the pain in the side of my head, and he said it was all muscle tension, and that, as time goes on, it should go away. I'm skeptical but somewhat relieved. And for the best news... I can finally chew!!!

However... as much as this was great news, I wasn't nearly as happy as I should have been. Sunday morning I woke up to immediately find out that a boy I know well, who knew and was friends with almost everyone in town, was hit by a taxi around 3 am and died. Jake was only exactly a month away from being 20.

It's been a horrible week. I've cried every single day and I can't stop thinking about him. It's wonderful that I can chew again, but I'd give up chewing for another 3 months to have him back. We weren't even close these last few years, and it's devastated me. All I hope is that he's in a better place now, and that he didn't suffer any pain. 

Anyways, back to my appointment. You read this blog for my updates on my post op progress, not to hear about people who have passed away. So I have about a 90% diet now, which means I can eat almost anything. I can't remember what I first chewed... all I remember is telling myself that I'm probably gonna forget what I first chewed lmfao. However later that day my next full meal was Quesadillas and salad. 

My teeth have been super sensitive these past couple weeks, so it was hard to chew at first. A lot of what I was eating was cold and it was a bit of a struggle, but it's gotten significantly better. My jaw hurts after I chew a lot though, so I try not to overdo it. The funny thing is that my left jaw is starting to do very small clicks. It used to be my right jaw that clicked! Too weird.  

So I went after my appointment with my surgeon and saw my ortho, and since he can do whatever he needs to do, he took off my surgical hooks!!!! I'm really happy about that, my teeth look so much better, I can't wait until my braces come off. I am still wearing elastics in a triangle shape, I need to start wearing them more so I get my braces off quicker.

Nothing much has happened since I last posted, just some personal things. Saw my nana, did some shopping, put out resumes cause i'm broke and in need of a job, etc. I hope to before and after pictures in the next couple days!!

As for my future plans.. I'm going to my cottage for a week at the end of July, and I'm going to stock up on stuff for residence :) we rent this cottage out but we're thinking this is gonna be our last year, for a lot of reasons. I think I already mentioned this before.. or maybe not. I don't know.

That's about it! I don't see my surgeon for 2 months and I don't see my ortho for a month, so this blog is probably going to become more personal :) I'm gonna stop rambling now, talk to you all soon :)

10.5 weeks post op - Ortho appointment

I wanted to make a quick update, since I promised in my last post that I would when I saw my surgeon!

First off, lately I've got a lottt of views on my blog. At first there weren't many, and so I just wrote whatever, but suddenly it jumped and tons of people have started to view all my posts, and it made me realize that I actually kind of have an audience and I shouldn't be so negative all the time! I'm the kind of person who always tends to look on the bad side of things (unfortunately) but for the sake of all of you who are reading this, I will try to include a lot more positive things about the surgery and post op process, as I'm sure some of  you will be undergoing surgery soon and I don't want to make it seem like it's all bad!

Anyways, my ortho appointment. I didn't have a set time that I was supposed to be there, just as long as I went today. I think the receptionist didn't give me a time because she assumed I was coming straight from my surgeon's office like I usually do. Anyways I saw my orthodontist almost right away, he took a look at my teeth and said I needed to wear elastics again :( to be honest I'm not all that surprised, I've been watching my bite like a hawk these last couple weeks and even I noticed a difference in the way it looked and felt, so I'm actually kind of relieved that elastics are on again, now nothing can move out of place! He put the elastics on each side, in a triangle - what I mean by that, is that the elastic is hooked onto the top and bottom hook like usual, but stretched farther back and looped onto the next hook at the bottom. I'll post pictures soon if that doesn't make sense!
I have to wear the elastics like this all day every day. Which doesn't necessarily bug me. What bugs me is that none of my surgical hooks are being used, and yet my ortho won't take them off, cause I see my surgeon in 2 weeks time, and my surgeon might tell me I need them again. Understandable but it still sucks.

Other than that everything is still the same as the last time I updated. I really need to talk to my surgeon about the pain in my head. I found a sore spot, pushed on it, and the pain was so excruciating that I just cried for hours. Right now I'm going through a bit of a stressful time, I have to worry about paying tuition and residence fees on time, I'm completely broke, no job, worrying about my jaw... It's not that bad, but it's still more stress than I've gone through in a while.

So what's everyone doing for the long weekend? For my Canadian friends, I mean. Canada Day is monday!! I'm so excited cause I'm going camping again at my friends uncles. You know, the place I went to just over a month ago when I had my car accident? I really love the place and I'm pretty excited.

Anyways, I hope you guys are having a good start to your week and I hope the rest of the week is good to you as well! I promise to update soon.

xo

Day 41 post op / Surgeons appointment

I know I was gonna post yesterday after my surgeons appointment but the last couple of days have been pretty shitty. 

However I did receive good news from my surgeon, he says that nothing seems to have moved, meaning no destruction in my plates and no additional surgery! He did however say that my upper jaw is still not fully attached to my face, so there's a chance that if I was to position myself in any other way when the airbag hit... I don't even wanna think about it.

But yeah, since my upper jaw isn't re-attached quite yet, he says that he wants me out of elastics all day, and only in elastics when I'm asleep - this is because there's a chance that when I'm in elastics and awake, the talking or yawning (basically tugging my elastics) is causing stress to my jaws, and not allowing my upper jaw to "firm up", and heal fully. Which is great news for me cause it's less time in elastics!!

I saw my ortho as well and he was curious about my cuts but it was just a quick appointment, he just wanted to take a look and said to follow my surgeons instructions. I asked him about when my surgical hooks are coming off and he said when my surgeon gives him the okay, so I'm hoping that's soon!

Other than that everything has been kinda shitty lately. I'm so broke it's not even funny. I have a list of things I need to buy, a list of things I want to buy, and of course my top priority which is a new car... and that's a whole other situation. My parents are helping me out until I get back to work, which I absolutely hate because I do not like asking for help from my parents, especially in the money aspect of my life. Also, I don't even know about my work, because I can't really do a lot of it. My job involves doing things where you may or may not get hit in the face, especially on a busy day - I remember being hit in the face multiple times. And since I can't risk my face getting hit, I can't do much but clean... and I don't think that's a priority for my boss soooo idk it's just a really stressful time right now. There's a whole lot of personal things going on too that I'm not going to get into because it's a long story and I'd like to keep some parts of my life to myself.

Jaw surgery related... everything is still the same. However, I'm getting a lot of feeling back in my lower lip which I am sooooo happy about! And I cannot wait to start chewing food in 2 weeks. But other than that, there's nothing else to talk about really...

I'll post later on this week or next! Probably saturday cause I'm gonna wanna talk about this party... that I may or may not go to... K byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

4 weeks and 1 day (29 days) post op

Hey everyone!!!

I haven't posted in forever and I feel awful about it, but that seems to be the norm with me - I don't post for  week at a time and then I feel bad. But since tomorrow will be May 12, exactly a month post op, and yesterday was 4 weeks post op, I feel that I should post about the last week and my surgeon's appointment/orthodontist appointment I had on thursday!

So for starters, I'll talk about the pain. 

It's been about the same since last week, pretty minimal, almost non-existent. However, I can tell that my jaw(s) is/are starting to heal to my face, because from my nose down is very sore, especially today. It's basically that feeling you get when you get your braces tightened and your teeth are so sore you want to rip them out of your face... except this soreness is more in my incision lines/ where my jaw was cut (obviously).

I have been getting a lot of head aches recently... I believe it's from the pain I still get on my left side of my face. I'm still having a lot of pain in the left side of my head, and now where my jaws connect on the left side, but that's only when I touch/push on it. I'm not sure why all of my pain is on the left, but my surgeon says it's normal, that the pain is tension in the muscles, and that's why I'm probably getting head aches.

And finally, I'm getting pain in my nose! I hope that didn't come across as exciting to me because it actually hurts like a bitch. The cartalidge in the middle of my nose - you know, the cartalidge that keeps you from having 2 nostrils instead of one? Yeah, well it seems to have wanted to curve to the left. And by that I mean that when I stick my finger in my nose (we all do it) it isn't straight like it used to be, I can feel it curved, and not only that, but if anything hits my nose from the left or from the middle, or if I try to rub my nose, it feels like the catrilidge is being pulled off my face. It fucking hurts so much. Bleh.

Okay so now about my appointment with my surgeon/orthodontist. I saw my surgeon a couple days ago, the office was almost empty so I got in right away, as apposed to last weeks appointment where I waited like an hour. So this time, instead of going into one of those dentist rooms again, I was seated in his consultation room, the room I used to always be seated in before surgery. My surgeon came in and talked to us for a few seconds before I sat back in a random dentist chair on the other side of his office. I told him about my concerns with the pain on the left of my face and he said it was normal. He said my bite is stable enough that he's going to let my orthodontist make the calls from now on, but he wanted me to ask my orthodontist how he feels about me wearing my elastics half the time I do now. I wear my elastics 12 hours a day, I think I've mentioned that before. After that I booked an appointment to see him in 2 weeks time and drove to my ortho, who's only just up the street. It was their lunch but they told me to come by after my surgeons appointment. When I talked to him I told him about my surgeon suggesting half time elastics - he said half time for him is 12 hours so I'm still sticking with that. However he wants me to wear 4 elastics instead of 5 - he's permanently taken off my front elastic! But, when I see him in 2 weeks, if my bite has shifted at all, I have to wear the front elastic again. Hopefully in 2 weeks I can maybe have more elastics off - maybe even have my surgical hooks taken off!! :)

I asked when my braces come off... he seemed hesitant to answer so I just said "6 months to a year?" and he was like "sure lets go with that." looooovely.

But that's really all that's been worth talking about! 

I'm still on a soft food diet, but I do eat food that's needed to be chewed - I just break it into a ton of pieces and swallow it.

Actually the weirdest thing happened, I blended ground beef and mashed potatoes in the blender and when I was eating it something really sharp cut my throat so bad I couldn't breathe or swallow or cough... My mom was going to call 911 but I managed to get my breath back and it was sore for a while.

This week I've spent a ton of time with my bff (boyfriend forever lmfaaao) and it's been really fun! 

But I've completely lost focus on what I'm writing so I'm just gonna publish this and hope it makes sense. If anything more comes up ill post about it :) lateeeeeeeeeeeeer

3 weeks post op!!

Hey everyone!

It's been a while since I posted, to be honest I haven't got anything new to tell you, other than my appointment with my surgeon yesterday.

I waited over an hour to see him, since his office was so busy. I think Thursdays are wisdom tooth extraction day, who knows.

Anyways, yesterday was my 3 week appointment/ X-ray day! When I got there I was almost immediately taken to the X-ray room - The woman who does the X-rays stared at me for a few seconds, then said "Did you have surgery?" I told her I did 3 weeks ago and she said she could barely believe it, that there was no swelling at all.  For some reason the X-ray machine took a few tries to work but I finally got them done and sat back down... to wait another hour to see my surgeon. But I was finally called into a room that looked a lot like a dentist room... hmm.
My surgeon came in and started looking at my X-rays, it was so cool seeing the screws and plates in my face! It doesn't even feel like it's there. I had forgotten to put my elastics on before I left for the appointment but it didn't seem to bother him. He used some metal plate to pull back my cheeks, each time telling me to open and close my mouth. He kept saying "wow" in a good way, as if he was thinking to himself "wow I'm a hell of a good surgeon!". It was pretty funny.

He asked me who my orthodontist was, and was confused that I haven't seen him yet. I told him that my orthodontist said to book an appointment only when the surgical hooks had to come off. This is where it got confusing... my surgeon told me I had to continue wearing my front elastics (I use 5 now, do I use less??) but also said to make an appointment with my orthodontist. I tried questioning him on why but he kept talking so it was useless. I'm seeing him in less than a week so I'll ask him why I need to see my orthodontist again. I need my surgical hooks to keep my elastics on, but if I go to my orthodontist he'll take them off.
Also, my surgeon told me I could have my elastics on for weeks or even 3 - 4 months. I hope he isn't talking about the ones on my front teeth that literally hold my jaw shut together.

He asked me how much weight I had lost, I told him about 7 pounds (although I'm quite sure I gained it all back) and he told me I should buy stretchy pants? Like I have the money to go shopping right now. I had to call my gym and bug the manager until she gave me 2 months of no pay. Which is actually really cool.

Anyways I have to have my elastics on for 12 hours out of the day. I sleep for 10 hours so that shouldn't be an issue.

Other than that everything has been the same, I still eat ice cream and mashed potatoes, my jaw hasn't been hurting, although I still have a pain in the left side of my head.

Here's the best part....
I don't snore anymore!!!
Quiet as a mouse. Woohoo

BUT I do have something to share with you jaw surgery buddies... If you're going through jaw surgery or about to have jaw surgery, and maaaaybe you're getting tired of ice cream or you're lactose intolerant, I know just what you can eat for a sweet...
Cotton Candy!
or Candy floss. Whatever you call it

It just melts in your mouth so no chewing and it's sooooo good. I bought a tub of it the other day... gone in 6 hours. SO. GOOD.

In personal news, I am having a wonderful week with my boyfriend and I am so glad he's home. We've been watching Misfits and it's sooo good. If you don't know what Misfits is, I feel bad for you.

Now I am off to do some shopping for my boyfriends birthday, so I'll update laterrrr

Day 17 post op / Coconut Oil

Wow I can't believe I haven't posted in 5 days. I feel so bad lol.

The reason for this is because I don't have much to report! Also I was away this weekend at my boyfriends. But that's irrelevant.

So the last 5 days, as I mentioned, have been uneventful. I've ate, drank, slept, laughed, cried, smiled... I know I'm only 2 and a half weeks post op but I feel normal. My jaw doesn't hurt. I eat whatever I want (as long as I don't chew) and my breathing is fantastic.
Don't tell my surgeon but I even eat meat! I cut it up into teeny tiny pieces, put it in my mouth, suck on it for a bit and then swallow whole.
That sounded so dirty.

So for the last few days, I've ate a lot of mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal, tea, I've had tiny pieces of peameal bacon, spaghetti cut up into little pieces, popcorn (don't ask how I eat that without chewing) and a lotttt of ice cream.
Evan's mom was so sweet, she made me a separate meal of mashed potatoes for when I came over for the weekend, and went out in the morning to buy eggs for me :)
Evan's brother was sweet too, he made smoothies. Evan and his mom hated it but I loved it, it was really good. Kinda reminded me of strawberry ice cream.

The pain in my face non-existent unless I touch it. For example, I still have bad pain in my left temple/side of head, but only when I touch it. The middle part of my nose hurts, but only when I touch it. My lower plates hurt, but only when I touch it. And my stitches hurt, but only when I'm laughing, like last night when I watched A Haunted House, I cracked up so bad it literally hurt.
Because I don't really feel any pain, I'm not taking anymore pain medication, however I'm still taking my antibiotics... Kind of. I'm doing a horrible job of taking one every 8 hours. More like 1 a day.

As for numbness, I'm actually starting to gain a bit of feeling back in my lower lip/chin!! When I was eating ice cream the other day, I could feel it drip down my chin for the first time. And there is definite tingling in my lower lip.

My swelling has come to a standstill, like I mentioned before. I still have definition in my cheekbones and I could not be happier. My smile is a little off, but it will get better with time.

All-in-all my healing has been wonderful. My surgeon said my sleeping position does not matter anymore, so now that I've moved back to sleeping in a bed, I usually sleep on my side. And Evan says I don't snore anymore so yay :D
I'm pretty sure I've followed my surgeon's instructions fairly well, although I drank the smoothie Blake made through a straw which I'm not allowed to do. I think that was my only setback.
My surgeon did tell me he wants me stretching my jaw muscles more, which means out of elastics for longer. I think I've accomplished this, I only wear my elastics when I'm sleeping..... Lol
The only thing I'm concerned about is my bite. When I'm in elastics, it pulls my jaw forward and to the left a bit. But it's in a completely different position out of elastics. Hopefully this isn't an issue.

So for pain it would be a 1/10
Swelling is... maybe 2/10?
and inconvenience is probably 4/10

The last thing I want to mention on this topic is that my jaw has random spasms. Well, I don't know if you'd call them spasms. It just kind of twitches really bad, like I'll be trying to sleep and suddenly my lower jaw will shoot to the left. And I'm lying here like what the actual fuck beep. I read this is normal though so I'm not too worried.

Okay so I know this is strange, since this is a jaw surgery blog, but I wanted to talk about this since I think it's the coolest thing ever. Coconut Oil!!

My surgeon suggested this to me to hike up the calories and fat in my food so I gain more weight back / be more healthy. I talked to my good family friend about it and she swears by the stuff. She recently went through her second fight against breast cancer (and won because she's a boss) and to keep her weight from dropping too much because of the chemotherapy she used Coconut Oil, so I went and bought a huge jar of the same stuff she had. Then I started doing a little "research"... aka Google search engine... and found out it does wonders for your hair and skin!
I watched a few tutorials on Youtube and so I tried it out for myself. Of course I didn't listen to the tutorials well, I kind of used too much... But let me tell you, it's amazing. My hair has never felt so soft and smooth, and it smells really good! I also put some on my skin... I've had trouble with the blackheads on my nose / cheeks since I hit puberty, and they're gone now. Gone. In one use.
Coconut oil works as a moisturizer and an acne fighter, and apparently it helps your hair grow longer!
Anyways I just wanted to mention this for anyone who comes across my blog who maaaay have issues with dry hair or skin blemishes. However if you don't like the smell of Coconut, I'd definitely suggest not getting it, obviously.

That's it, hope you enjoyed the read and I'll update within the next couple days! xo

day 12 post op

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to do a quick update on today because I've had a bit of a scare and now my jaw is all funny.

Earlier today my pup came home from her weekly wednesday doggy daycare day. I laid on the ground and played with her, while my elastics were off, and as I tried to get up, my other dog stepped on my hair, yanking my head back and jutting my lower jaw forward, causing stretching and bad pain. I ran and put on my elastics, but a few hours later took them off to eat some food.

I noticed now that when i close my jaw, it doesn't... fit. The teeth beside my canine tooth on my left side kind of hit edges, instead of fitting into the grooves of each other like they used to.

Ever since I have been able to take off my elastics, I noticed that when my teeth are in elastics, they're much closer together than they are when the elastics are off. And to get my teeth that close together when the elastics are off, I have to... shift my lower jaw forward? It's strange. I'm not too concerned but at the same time I'm a little worried that my surgeon positioned my lower jaw while it was shifted forward and not when it was relaxed, so now it's all weird. I dunno.

If any of you guys who read my blog can relate and give me some info I would so appreciate it. Other than that it's been a lazy day with yummy food and now I'm about to make some ice cream mixed with Rolo milkshake mmmmmm

later sk8rs

Day 11 post op: Surgeon's appointment

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeello everyone!!!!

I am in the best mood I've been in since before surgery. I saw my surgeon today and everything went FAB-TAB-U-LOUS

So I got to my surgeons office and barely waited 15 seconds before my surgeon came in. He took off my elastics and asked me to open and close my mouth, all the while smiling insanely. He said the healing looks great and that I'm healing on a faster rate than most people which was awesome to hear. He said my incisions look great, I am allowed using my regular toothpaste and mouthwash, and, the best news, I AM NO LONGER ON A LIQUID DIET!!!

That's right, I'm allowed to eat ANYTHING I want as long as it can be mashed down and able to eat without chewing. I was, I AM, soooo happy.

Now onto the pain. I told my surgeon about the pain in my temple. He pushed on the exact spots where it hurt which was not fun but he said it was because of tension since I'm squeezing my teeth together. He said that squeezing my teeth together is a really bad thing to do. It can shift the plates and cause a lot of tension. Ever since I've caught myself squeezing my teeth a lot and it's frustrating but I'm trying.

I am now only supposed to use one elastic in each spot instead of doubling up on them. He told me to take off my elastics a lot and move my jaw a lot to get the muscles to stretch.

Basically everything looks great and my healing is great and there are no worries. So I went to Nature's Emporium and got some Sweet Potato and Carrot, Shepards pie, and Coconut Oil***. Then I bought some pasta at my favourite Italian eatery and went home. The Sweet Potato and Carrot was mashed, the Shepards pie blended, and The pasta was put in the blender with more tomato sauce and blended up. It was all SO. GOOD. I've ate everything in the house that I can. Oh and I bought Avocados to make guacamole later. UHFDOFH so happy.

However once I got home I noticed 2 things:

One, my back molars on the upper right side are very weak. Even when I brush very gently against it, it feels like it's being pushed on hard. It's weird.

and Two, I took my elastics off for a while and after about half an hour, my joints really started to hurt on the right. But once I put my elastics back on, the pain went away instantly. Also, when my teeth are closed without elastics, there in a different position than when my elastics are on. I'm worried that when my elastics come off permanently, my jaw will stay in that position it's in when my elastics are off and I'll be in really bad pain in my joints. Only time will tell but who knows.

My best friends came and visited me today which was awesome because I haven't seen one of them in months! Other than that I took my dogs for a walk and that was about all I did today.

Since things are pretty much slowing down I'll probably start updating every other day, or any day anything significant happens.

Talk to you all soon!

*** My surgeon wants me to put Coconut Oil in any warm foods to keep my calories up... I've been eating Buttercream icing and ice cream since I got home, I don't think my calorie intake is too low at all :P

Day 10 post op

So I'm finally in the double-digits of my post op experience and I'm in a much better mood than I was yesterday. I was in the middle of making a post bitching about my surgery yesterday, but my laptop died. Good thing it did too, cause that was a really depressing post.

I'll try to sum it up without making it depressing. I am pretty disappointed with the outcome of the surgery. The physical attributes that I was hoping would be fixed are not. My gummy smile is still present, my lips aren't a millimeter closer together, and my jaw isn't more defined, although time will tell with this because I assume I'm still swollen.

It's so weird how not swollen I am. I look the exact same I did before surgery. Maybe a little swollen by the plates in my lower jaw, but that's about it.

ANYWAYS as I was saying, I'm in a much better mood than yesterday. I watched tv for a while, had some Yop, and took my dog shooshoo (her name is Sasha but shooshoo is her nickname) for a walk. Then my mom came home with a chocolate Nesquik(?) milkshake kinda thing. Then I went with her to her classroom (she's a kindergarten teacher) and helped her clean up a bit and now I'm home.

Since I'm not feeling any pain or discomfort lately, and my energy levels are fine, it doesn't even feel like I had surgery, other than the fact that I can't chew.

I'm still thinking if this surgery was really worth it. The pain was unreal, my sleeping sucks, I can't eat anything and it's impossible to talk.

My pain today was a 1/10.
Inconvenience 10/10.
Hunger 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10.
My swelling has come to a standstill basically but since I'm barely swollen it doesn't bother me.

Life has really slowed down and I'm just waiting for the OK to eat more food. I can't wait to be able to eat guacamole ugh I miss it so much.

Tomorrow I get to see my surgeon!! I'll post after I see him, I'm praying that I can eat more food. EEEEEEEEEEEEE

Day 6 post op: Hungry and Anxious

So today marks day 6 post op and I must say, I AM MISERABLE.

My pain isn't so bad, it's bearable, but I've been having all my pain in my right cheek, by my joints and in my stitches. If I press along my cheek bone and my cheek, along towards the skin above my lips, it's very tender  and sore. But on the left side, there's no pain.

I've accidentally ate a few things that have seeds/seasoning/spices in it, and I'm afraid that they got in my incisions and are becoming an infection. I have antibiotics prescribed to me but I don't know if I'm supposed to take them before or after I get an infection. And of course, I didn't go to see my surgeons partner today, since I'm feeling better and the appointment was only to be kept if I was still in dire pain.

I'm very cranky and pissed off, I've never been so hungry in my entire life. All I want to do is fucking eat.

I've even broke the rules a few times and fit in tiny tiny tiny pieces of cupcake, cooked onion, jello... I didn't have to chew these pieces, but I still feel bad for doing it.

Also I'm second guessing everything I'm doing. Apparently my surgeons partner told my dad I can keep my elastics off for a couple days if I want, and my dad doesn't seem to think I need to take the antibiotics until I actually get an infection, which I don't know is right, but of course I can't call and ask my surgeons partner cause he's taken on double the clients with my surgeon being on vacation and so he's very busy. Also I don't know if I'm eating properly. Like, everything is still liquids, but this is how I eat:

open my mouth
take food in my mouth
close my mouth
swallow
open mouth
repeat

Doesn't that sound like chewing to you?
And I'm not allowed to chew.
I am so full of anxiety that I'm doing this wrong that I can't relax.


On top of all that, everyone that I speak to, either on my blog or instagram or Youtube, all has surgeons that have given them specific instructions. For example, sleep propped up, or Don't take off your elastics. So I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong. So overwhelmed right now.

Luckily my mom just came home with a lot of V8 drinks and cocktails, and my favourite Sweet potato and leek soup, which has been blended and is going into my tummy as I'm typing.

So a quick update on my swelling and bruising and whatnot:
Swelling: Has come down dramatically. I basically look back to normal, which makes me even more excited to see these 2/3/6 month results.
Bruising: Still very yellow, still very obvious.
Pain: Most of my pain is on the right side, in my joints and stitches, and short bursts of pain in my lower plate and screws (still right side)
Hunger: 100000/10
Inconvienience: over 9000
Energy: Very low

Updates tomorrow

Day 5 post op

Today was the bast day I've had so far, besides the fact that I have a bit of an episode a couple hours after I woke up.

So I'll start from the beginning: I woke up around 7:30 today, giving me 6 and a half hours of sleep! Much of an improvement considering I'd sleep for 4 hours and then wake up in agony. I gave myself some medication and fell back asleep around 8 to 12, when Evan came in.

We decided to watch a movie right away, however I was really dehydrated and not knowing it. By the end of the movie I was hot, uncomfortable, and struggling to breathe. Had a bit of a panic attack, but finally got some medication in and a lot of apple sauce and water.

Evan then took me for a walk around the block, which was okay for about half of it, but going uphill on the way back was too much and I became too weak. Evan basically had to carry me back to the house.

When I came back I ate a lot of sorbet, which actually ended up having seeds in it... I swear it was just the colouring. During this time I watched Reba on DVD and was trying so hard not to laugh or smile, but a couple times I accidentally snorted or blew a bit through my nose while trying to keep myself from laughing. It freaked me out a bit, but I was still able to breathe through my nose, so I thought I was fine. But when I went to rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth, a HUGE chunk of blood made it's way out of my mouth. Scary shit. Now I'm struggling to breathe out of one nostril.

The good news about that is that I can actually open my mouth enough to get my toothbrush in and brush my tongue and the inside of my teeth.

Overall I think I'm healing much faster than intended. The only pain I've had today was in my joints, and once I took my pain medication the only soreness has been in my stitches, as I'm actually able to smile quite well and open my mouth quite a bit. I spent most of the day without elastics on, since my surgeons said I could, but I'm keeping them on now in fear that it will change my bite if I don't. 

My pain level has gone up and down, but lately has stayed at a 4/10. My discomfort has been about a 5/10. 

My swelling has gone down so much I can't believe it. I almost look the way I did before surgery. I have a bit of puffyness in the bottom of the right side of my cheek, and some on the side of my nose on the left. But other than that, everything looks pretty symmetrical. Also, 80% of the swelling under my chin has disappeared.

My numbness has basically become nothing. It's in my lower lip and chin and under my left eye, but that's it.

My bruising is still very yellow, and very obvious. That will probably go away in a few days though.

I've had lots of ice cream and apple sauce so my energy hasn't been too bad since I went for a walk.

I'm hoping that I just heal quite fast and that this isn't a sign that anything bad is actually happening, and I hope I didn't screw up my new sinuses by blowing a bit through them.

I don't think I ever mentioned what they found in my nasal passage did I?

Well even if I did, I'll explain it again.

So while they were doing the surgery, they opened up my nasal passage and found a bone spur. Basically, my surgeon thinks that when I was very young, the bones around my nasal cavity just started growing this little piece of bone - I guess you could call it a deformity. So when you see a skull, and you see 2 holes where your nose is, my left(?) nose hole had a piece of bone growing through my sinuses. Weird.

Also, apparently my sinuses were "really messed up" as my surgeon put it. All twisted and weird, which my mom thinks is hereditary, as she has horrible sinuses. She gets sinus infections 3 times a year.

So he fixed it all up and I have brand new sinuses! Woohoo.

I'm still suprised I can breathe through them so early in the healing process. 

I'm seeing my surgeons partner again tomorrow, to ask him a few questions and tell him about how I can breathe so soon, and if I can eat mashed potatoes yet and bla bla bla. So I shall update tomorrow!!

I've been horrible with pictures, and I can't find my good webcam, but I managed to take front view and side profile pictures on my shitty webcam. Here's to being almost a week post op!

5 Days post op Front View

Right side of my profile

Left side of my profile

Day 4 post op

So today has been as big of a struggle as the last couple days. My energy is so low because of the fact that anything with protein in it makes me violently ill, so I've barely been walking around.

The pain has decreased though, even if it's just a little bit. Most of my pain has moved towards my joints and my temples. However, I still get pretty severe pain in my stitches and where they cut my bone.

I somehow managed today to take a shower, which was actually quite horrible because I had no energy to even lift my arms. I had to sit in the shower and it took me 40 minutes to wash my hair and shave under my arms.

Then I got dressed and went to see my surgeons partner. He said everything was going good, he says I'm doing a good job at brushing my teeth and taking my elastics on and off. He says that I need to walk around more though, and that everything I'm feeling is perfectly natural.

And then on the way home my mom closed the car window on my wrist. OUCH.

My bruising has peaked today, it's basically just yellow. Not much bruising. And my swelling has gone down tremendously since yesterday.

I weighed myself today, as I did 2 days ago, and I've lost 5 pounds already. I am now 110 pounds. I look anorexic.

Evan is finally coming home tomorrow, even if it's only for a couple days. He's going to take me for a walk around my street, since I need to get walking more.

My pain level is about a 6/10 and my discomfort is a 8/10.

The only 3 words I keep saying over and over again is: Kill Me Now.

Day 2 and 3 post op

I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I should, but the last 2 days have kind of melted together.

First off I'd like to say that I regret this a lot. I can feel tension and pain in my joints, which, I could be wrong, but indicates TMJ, which I didn't have before. It's probably just my muscles tensing up, but I'm really on edge about everything.

The last 2 days have been unbelievably hard. Most of my time I've spent crying because I've been in so much pain. My medication I have to crush up, dissolve, and then mix with something and drink it. But the Ibuprofen and percs taste absolutely horrible, and 90% of the time I've been unbearably nauseous. The only thing to mask the taste is thick yogurt or apple sauce, which is incredibly hard to take with your jaw basically wired shut, so I've been having to take off my elastics and open my mouth a little bit (not much though cause my face is too tensed up) and that hurts a lot.

When I manage to take my medication though, I become so out of it, so sleepy, that I'm in and out of consciousness for hours. It takes me about 2 hours to fully regain consciousness after I wake up. I hate being like that. But, I'd rather be like that then dealing with this pain.

My parents called my surgeons partner today, he helped my surgeon with the surgery. He faxed over a prescription for a heavy heavy anti - nausea drug, and so far I'm loving it. It's the kind that you get prescribed when you have cancer and going through Chemotherapy. I'm actually managing to eat yogurt and jello and all kinds of food. It's difficult but I feel a lot better than I have been the last few days.

Numbness
I'm actually surprised at how much I'm not numb. I have feeling in my upper lip, my nose, most of my cheeks, under one eye, the only place there's noticeable numbness is my chin and lower lip, but even in my lower lip it just feels like I bit it and have been holding onto it for a few hours. So, kind of a tingly painful numb.

I just can't wait for Week One to be over. I've been grumpy, in a lot of pain and nausea, and I definitely wish I didn't do this.
I'm seeing my surgeons partner tomorrow so I'll update then.
TTFN

Surgery tomorrow!!

Wow, I can't believe I'm actually going in for surgery tomorrow.
I'm actually in denial I think, I have random moments of anxiety but then I'm fine.

Everything I need for at least the first week has been purchased. My humidifier is working like a charm, and now Evan and I are just sitting here on our laptops.

I have no idea what I'm going to have for my last meal, but I hope it's good. Maybe chicken. Who knows.

The last thing I need to do is pack my bag for tomorrow... So far this is what I'm bringing.

• Slippers
• Sweater
• Baby toothbrush
• Mouthwash given to me by my surgeon
• Lamby

Lamby is my stuffed animal (a lamb, obviously) that I've had literally since the day I was born. She's no longer pink, and the polka dots have faded, and her nose is half falling off, but she's like my security blanket :)

Since this is my last pre-op post, I'll just quickly go over what my surgeon is doing:

He's moving my upper jaw 3mm up and 4mm forward. My lower jaw is being moved 8mm forward and rotated upward slightly. Somehow while doing this he's changing the plane of my bite, and somehow this is opening up my airways so I can breathe twice as much.
Because of my cold, he's putting a nasal tube in my nose. I'm praying to god they're gonna put a tube through my nose into my stomach cause I definitely don't want to throw up blood. Actually, I definitely don't want to throw up at all.

Thanks to everyone who has read my blog through these last few months of being pre-op. I'm very happy to get on the other side of the electrical saw and start the healing process! Hopefully it's a good recovery and I don't swell too much.

I'll post when I get back from the hospital!! eeeeek

I've been cleared!!!

So I am very happy to report that I went to my surgeons today and have been cleared for surgery!! I will still be getting it done in two days :)

I got a lousy sleep last night, which sucked, but I woke up and dropped mom off at work. Then I went back home and a few hours later I went to my surgeons office.
I walked into the room that my parents and I were in the last time we were there.
My surgeon walks in with this bigger man, and he introduced himself as the anesthesiologist. Him and my surgeon then took a tongue depressor and jabbed it all the way to the back of my tongue, and I could hear them say things like "swollen glands" and "swollen tonsils" and such. I expected that much, my tonsils always swell up and it's really annoying.

Then the anesthesiologist told me he was gonna check my chest. He put the stethoscope (or whatever it's called) to my throat, then my chest, and then on my back. When he was on my chest though he went basically in my bra and I was like oh this is weird. But whatever. Then he said my chest was cleared and I was like woohoo!!

Then he asked me if I actually feel sick. I said no. Which, I don't. I'm just tired all the time lol. I'm putting that down to either oversleeping or not sleeping enough. Then they looked in my nose and the anesthesiologist made some comments to my surgeon and my surgeon responded that I'll need a nasal tube. Then the bad part... My surgeon asked if I have any nasal congestion. I thought this meant pressure in my nose and like sinus swelling or something, so I said no, and that I only blew my nose a couple times a day.
Which, I then later found out that nasal congestion means stuffy nose and I pretty much still have that. And I may have under exaggerated how many times I blow my nose a day. In realistic terms I'd say 5 times a day, maybe a bit more, but definitely not over 10. I don't know why I said 2, I think it's because all I remembered was barely blowing my nose yesterday or today. Ugh, I don't know.

But it scares me now cause it's like, is that incredibly important information? Are the chances of me dying greater now that you think I don't have any congestion in my nose?

Anyways, to finish off the appointment he took all these pictures of me - Well, of my face - and then gave me an anti-microbial mouth wash that I need to start brushing with tonight.

In the meantime, I'm trying to clean my room as fast as possible, so I can just lie down and rest and drink lots of water and get better before surgery.

Last night I had my last steak - I'm going to miss steak so much :(

Yellow Light?

Since surgery is 4 days away I'm probably going to be posting everyday, just because there's so much information :)

So in my last post I was freaking out about being sick/ rattling in my lungs. Today I went to the walk in clinic and the doctor assured me that I don't have a sinus infection or bronchitis, which made me SO happy, because I am very prone to bronchitis. So he did say that he heard some congestion in my chest, and just to take over the counter All-In-One Decongestant. I haven't bought that yet but I found some stuff in my house that worked until tomorrow when I buy some more.
The doctor said he suspects I'll be only getting better from here, so I got home and called my surgeon, which was kind of frustrating.
The woman who answered the phone seemed reluctant to let me speak to my surgeon, and suggested I just tell him tomorrow when I see him for the "Photo Shoot". When I insisted, she put me on hold for a few minutes, then suddenly picked up the phone and said "Hello Allison?" I said "This is Rebecca" and she said "Oh one minute" and HUNG UP.

I was like what the hell... So I waited a few minutes, then decided to wait until I see him tomorrow. I checked the voicemails and somehow the lady left a voicemail without even calling, and said my surgeon would like to speak to me ASAP. So I called back and told him everything. He asked me how I was generally feeling and I said I feel great except for the congestion in my chest.

So after a while of talking, my surgeon said he's pretty sure we can still go ahead with the operation, but that he wants to move my appointment from tomorrow to Wednesday, because an Anesthesiologist comes in on Wednesdays and Fridays and he wants her or him to check me out to make sure I can receive General anesthetic. So Basically it's like I'm at a yellow light, waiting for the OK.

This SUCKS. Not only did I JUST get the ability to breathe through my nose back, but I'm still congested, and in 4 days I won't be able to breathe through my nose again (If I get the OK)

But, I am to go along as if the whole thing is still happening. So I have plans to clean and prepare everything tomorrow.

In other news, my family is walking around like nothing is about to happen. My sister is complaining constantly about how everyone is paying more attention to the fact that I'm sick, rather than to the fact that she's sick. She went on this rampage about how I do nothing with my life and bla bla bla. So now my parents are catering to that bitch. I'm literally 4 days away and I'm not even close to ready. I'm sick so I can't leave the house to go buy everything I need, so my mom has to do everything I should be doing. I could do it by myself, but my surgeon basically put me on bed rest until I see him. 

In regards to how I'm feeling... I'm scared. Nervous. Anxious. Everything that I should be feeling at this point. I'm sad to see my old face go, but excited to embrace the new one. It's not going to be a huge change, my surgeon says. But still a change.

I'll update tomorrow on my sickness and everything that's going on :)

Anxiety/Still very sick

So 95% of my cold has disappeared. However, I'm still blowing my nose, and now there's rumbling in my throat/lungs. I'm freaking out. If I can't do the surgery I'm going to cry.

On top of this, because I am feeling a lot better, my anxiety is kicking in. Surgery is only 4 and a half days away... So either I don't get to do the surgery and be disappointed forever, or I do get to do it and I have panic attacks every day. Woohoo I love being pre-op...

I'm so stressed I'm not thinking straight. I'll know for sure in the next couple days whether or not I can do the surgery.

I'll update when I know anything

:(

NO GENIOPLASTY

As if i'm making a post less than a day after my previous one,
but I have huge news!!!


So I woke up this morning and was totally bored, as per usual, so I decided to go play some piano. The phone rings and my sister yells that it's my surgeon, so I rush to answer it. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Surgeon: Hi, is this Rebecca?
Me: Yep
Surgeon: Can I speak to your mom?

Um. What.
So I hand the phone to mom, she answers, continually saying "okay..." every few seconds. She breaks out in a smile and gives me a thumbs up, then shakes her head while pointing to her chin, which indicated that my surgeon was saying no Genioplasty. I was so confused, so when she finally got off the phone with him, she tried to explain everything to me as best as she could but she's pretty bad at it and not only that, but she didn't ask my surgeon any of the questions that I need to know.

Basically she said that he said he did a "Mock surgery" and realized I don't need it. Also, he mentioned something about my airways being more open after they are done with my upper jaw. He also told mom that I should call him back if I had any questions, so I wrote down a few and gave him a call.

Once I got him on the phone and explained that my mom is bad at explaining things, he burst out laughing. Then explained everything I need to know. I zoned out through some parts, but I know that he said that when he did measurements and put pieces together and bla bla bla (the mock surgery) he said that the lift he is giving to my lower jaw will give me enough of a chin to look proportionate, and I thiiiink (I hope) he meant that it will give me the support in my lower lip that the Genioplasty would have done anyways. He also made an example of a tongue depressor or cigar being bit by your molars and how it goes on an angle and mine is too steep so he's fixing the "Plane" of my bite while doing my upper jaw, so it'll open up my airways TWICE as much, making my snoring almost gone and have little to no chance of developing sleep apnea.

However, he is moving my jaw outwards as well, so I asked him if this is going to change the shape of my nose, and he said a little. He explained that whenever you move your bones, your soft tissue moves half as much. So because of my upper jaw moving out 4mm, my nose will move about 2mm. I told him that my nose  kind of points up at the end so I'm afraid that I'll develop a "piggy nose", and he said that he's doing minimal movement so that most likely won't happen, but you never know. So my concern has gone from having permanent feeling loss in my chin/lower lip, to having a pig nose.

Oh well, we'll see what the surgery brings. I'm very excited actually, but at the same time concerned because my surgeon said the Genioplasty will help shut my lips and now that it's not happening, I don't know if my lips will be as shut. Probably. I don't know.

I need to chill. He's a good surgeon and I'm being stupid.

Anyways if anything else changes or if I call and get more information out of him, then I'll update again :)

SICK

Sick, I am sick.

SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK

It actually isn't that bad, a little sore throat, but since my boyfriend gave it to me and he's coughing up nasty crap, I'm assuming that will happen to me too.

A week and a half pre-op too!!! I hope I'm better for the surgery.

First off I want to apologize for having my tags say "underbite" as I am stupid and for some reason put that there. I have an OVERBITE. not Underbite.

Also I should probably start communicating more with other people on their blogs because I just assumed you don't know who's following you, but I came on Blogger 5 minutes ago and it said I had one follower!!! So to my one follower I LOVE YOU :)

I think my goal is to get my followers. Just so I know I'm actually sharing my journey through all of this with people, you know?

What else is going on in my boring life....

My mom started having a panic attack over some of the things I was saying today about my surgery. She freaks out over everything. I was trying to explain to her, that if I could do all of this over again, I'd choose my own orthodontist, I'd choose my surgeon, I'd get second opinions, because I never did that. I was just handed whoever. Who knows, maybe I'd prefer another surgeon over my current one. Not to say my current one is unqualified.

I'm terrified about throwing up after surgery!!! Helpppp. My surgeon said that only 1 in 20 of his patients throw up after surgery but KILL ME I swear to god I'm going to be that person. I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch so sorry if I do haha.

I literally have nothing to talk about... maybe The Walking Dead?
Who saw the season finale tonight?
Seriously not what I expected it to be. I'm not gonna put any spoilers but holy shit.

This post is getting to be pointless.

I hope everyone had an incredible Easter weekend or Passover! I'll post soon.. getting my hair done soon so maybe I'll post pictures. WHO KNOWS.