5 weeks post op / car accident!

Hey guys, I just had to make a post on my blog today as I just got back from camping, and something bad has happened.

And when I mean bad, I mean horrible.

Friday we left to go camping on my friend Baileys Uncle's property. He owns 116 acres so it's an incredible, gorgeous place to set up a tent and have a good party.

Anyways, we leave Evan's home (Evan and me in my car, Bailey and Brandon in Brandon's car) and we come up to a stop light. The light turned yellow, so Brandon came to a stop. Evan tried to break... but it wouldn't work. I screamed, but it was too late. The last thing I remember was trying to cover my face as we went 50 km/h into the back of brandons car.

Airbags came flying out, glass got smashed, and of course my face got smashed against the airbag. I was only out for a few seconds, but when I came to, I was face-deep in the airbag. I pushed it away, looked in the mirror and saw my face was badly cut up. That's when panic set in. I freaked, jumped out of the car, and started running around the road like a chicken with its head cut off. I grabbed my phone and called my mom, screaming about the accident. I was in a bad state of shock. A bystander came running over and got me onto the grass, we sat down and she rubbed my back while she called 911.

My car was totaled. The hood was bent, the windshield was damaged. It would cost the same price to fix just the airbags as it did to purchase the car itself just last year.

Everyone was worried about my face. I was terrified something happened to it. But I was speaking clearly, forming sentences, so obviously nothing absolutely terrible happened, but I didn't know that at the time. The police and ambulance showed up, and I got in the ambulance a few minutes later. We drove straight to the hospital where my parents were waiting, while Evan stayed back to deal with the police officer and the accident. The ambulance ride was kinda cool, and while I was there they cleaned out my cuts with sterile water. I was only in the hospital for about an hour and a half, I was in the fast track lane and so I saw a doctor pretty quick. He checked me out and said I was fine, that there was no concussion and I was free to go. Evan and his mom showed up just then, she came down to make sure I was okay cause she's the best.

And after all this... I decided to still go camping. I wasn't gonna let some surface cuts ruin my weekend! And luckily I had a great time. We spoke to my surgeon when I was at the hospital (my mom called) and he said that if I'm not in excruciating pain and my bite is still in the same place then I should be okay, but I'm going to go see him Tuesday just to double check.

The good thing is that Brandons car has the smallest, most unnoticeable crack in the rear bumper. But what really disturbed me about the whole thing, now that I think of it, is that people were driving by, sticking their head out the window, and laughing at us. Staring at me while I was sitting on the ground with a cut up face, laughing. I cannot fathom how fucked up this world is sometimes.

So since then, the only pain I have is right under my right nostril. It's either one of those under-the-skin pimples, or my plates there are damaged or irritated. Or, it's just irritated from the blunt force from the airbag.

And actually, that's probably the only thing that's happened lately worth sharing. Other than that I've been sleeping, eating, and sleeping even more. I'll definitely update after Tuesday... I really hope I don't have to have another surgery but who knows. I am just so lucky and so blessed that nothing more happened to me. Everyone else was okay, but unfortunately Bailey has horrible whiplash and Evan got some rashes and achy muscles. My car on the other hand... is not my car anymore. It was totaled, I signed it over to a towing company who's going to smash it. So now I'm wondering... When am I getting another car?

That's about it, I'll talk to you all Tuesday!

3 weeks post op!!

Hey everyone!

It's been a while since I posted, to be honest I haven't got anything new to tell you, other than my appointment with my surgeon yesterday.

I waited over an hour to see him, since his office was so busy. I think Thursdays are wisdom tooth extraction day, who knows.

Anyways, yesterday was my 3 week appointment/ X-ray day! When I got there I was almost immediately taken to the X-ray room - The woman who does the X-rays stared at me for a few seconds, then said "Did you have surgery?" I told her I did 3 weeks ago and she said she could barely believe it, that there was no swelling at all.  For some reason the X-ray machine took a few tries to work but I finally got them done and sat back down... to wait another hour to see my surgeon. But I was finally called into a room that looked a lot like a dentist room... hmm.
My surgeon came in and started looking at my X-rays, it was so cool seeing the screws and plates in my face! It doesn't even feel like it's there. I had forgotten to put my elastics on before I left for the appointment but it didn't seem to bother him. He used some metal plate to pull back my cheeks, each time telling me to open and close my mouth. He kept saying "wow" in a good way, as if he was thinking to himself "wow I'm a hell of a good surgeon!". It was pretty funny.

He asked me who my orthodontist was, and was confused that I haven't seen him yet. I told him that my orthodontist said to book an appointment only when the surgical hooks had to come off. This is where it got confusing... my surgeon told me I had to continue wearing my front elastics (I use 5 now, do I use less??) but also said to make an appointment with my orthodontist. I tried questioning him on why but he kept talking so it was useless. I'm seeing him in less than a week so I'll ask him why I need to see my orthodontist again. I need my surgical hooks to keep my elastics on, but if I go to my orthodontist he'll take them off.
Also, my surgeon told me I could have my elastics on for weeks or even 3 - 4 months. I hope he isn't talking about the ones on my front teeth that literally hold my jaw shut together.

He asked me how much weight I had lost, I told him about 7 pounds (although I'm quite sure I gained it all back) and he told me I should buy stretchy pants? Like I have the money to go shopping right now. I had to call my gym and bug the manager until she gave me 2 months of no pay. Which is actually really cool.

Anyways I have to have my elastics on for 12 hours out of the day. I sleep for 10 hours so that shouldn't be an issue.

Other than that everything has been the same, I still eat ice cream and mashed potatoes, my jaw hasn't been hurting, although I still have a pain in the left side of my head.

Here's the best part....
I don't snore anymore!!!
Quiet as a mouse. Woohoo

BUT I do have something to share with you jaw surgery buddies... If you're going through jaw surgery or about to have jaw surgery, and maaaaybe you're getting tired of ice cream or you're lactose intolerant, I know just what you can eat for a sweet...
Cotton Candy!
or Candy floss. Whatever you call it

It just melts in your mouth so no chewing and it's sooooo good. I bought a tub of it the other day... gone in 6 hours. SO. GOOD.

In personal news, I am having a wonderful week with my boyfriend and I am so glad he's home. We've been watching Misfits and it's sooo good. If you don't know what Misfits is, I feel bad for you.

Now I am off to do some shopping for my boyfriends birthday, so I'll update laterrrr

Day 17 post op / Coconut Oil

Wow I can't believe I haven't posted in 5 days. I feel so bad lol.

The reason for this is because I don't have much to report! Also I was away this weekend at my boyfriends. But that's irrelevant.

So the last 5 days, as I mentioned, have been uneventful. I've ate, drank, slept, laughed, cried, smiled... I know I'm only 2 and a half weeks post op but I feel normal. My jaw doesn't hurt. I eat whatever I want (as long as I don't chew) and my breathing is fantastic.
Don't tell my surgeon but I even eat meat! I cut it up into teeny tiny pieces, put it in my mouth, suck on it for a bit and then swallow whole.
That sounded so dirty.

So for the last few days, I've ate a lot of mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal, tea, I've had tiny pieces of peameal bacon, spaghetti cut up into little pieces, popcorn (don't ask how I eat that without chewing) and a lotttt of ice cream.
Evan's mom was so sweet, she made me a separate meal of mashed potatoes for when I came over for the weekend, and went out in the morning to buy eggs for me :)
Evan's brother was sweet too, he made smoothies. Evan and his mom hated it but I loved it, it was really good. Kinda reminded me of strawberry ice cream.

The pain in my face non-existent unless I touch it. For example, I still have bad pain in my left temple/side of head, but only when I touch it. The middle part of my nose hurts, but only when I touch it. My lower plates hurt, but only when I touch it. And my stitches hurt, but only when I'm laughing, like last night when I watched A Haunted House, I cracked up so bad it literally hurt.
Because I don't really feel any pain, I'm not taking anymore pain medication, however I'm still taking my antibiotics... Kind of. I'm doing a horrible job of taking one every 8 hours. More like 1 a day.

As for numbness, I'm actually starting to gain a bit of feeling back in my lower lip/chin!! When I was eating ice cream the other day, I could feel it drip down my chin for the first time. And there is definite tingling in my lower lip.

My swelling has come to a standstill, like I mentioned before. I still have definition in my cheekbones and I could not be happier. My smile is a little off, but it will get better with time.

All-in-all my healing has been wonderful. My surgeon said my sleeping position does not matter anymore, so now that I've moved back to sleeping in a bed, I usually sleep on my side. And Evan says I don't snore anymore so yay :D
I'm pretty sure I've followed my surgeon's instructions fairly well, although I drank the smoothie Blake made through a straw which I'm not allowed to do. I think that was my only setback.
My surgeon did tell me he wants me stretching my jaw muscles more, which means out of elastics for longer. I think I've accomplished this, I only wear my elastics when I'm sleeping..... Lol
The only thing I'm concerned about is my bite. When I'm in elastics, it pulls my jaw forward and to the left a bit. But it's in a completely different position out of elastics. Hopefully this isn't an issue.

So for pain it would be a 1/10
Swelling is... maybe 2/10?
and inconvenience is probably 4/10

The last thing I want to mention on this topic is that my jaw has random spasms. Well, I don't know if you'd call them spasms. It just kind of twitches really bad, like I'll be trying to sleep and suddenly my lower jaw will shoot to the left. And I'm lying here like what the actual fuck beep. I read this is normal though so I'm not too worried.

Okay so I know this is strange, since this is a jaw surgery blog, but I wanted to talk about this since I think it's the coolest thing ever. Coconut Oil!!

My surgeon suggested this to me to hike up the calories and fat in my food so I gain more weight back / be more healthy. I talked to my good family friend about it and she swears by the stuff. She recently went through her second fight against breast cancer (and won because she's a boss) and to keep her weight from dropping too much because of the chemotherapy she used Coconut Oil, so I went and bought a huge jar of the same stuff she had. Then I started doing a little "research"... aka Google search engine... and found out it does wonders for your hair and skin!
I watched a few tutorials on Youtube and so I tried it out for myself. Of course I didn't listen to the tutorials well, I kind of used too much... But let me tell you, it's amazing. My hair has never felt so soft and smooth, and it smells really good! I also put some on my skin... I've had trouble with the blackheads on my nose / cheeks since I hit puberty, and they're gone now. Gone. In one use.
Coconut oil works as a moisturizer and an acne fighter, and apparently it helps your hair grow longer!
Anyways I just wanted to mention this for anyone who comes across my blog who maaaay have issues with dry hair or skin blemishes. However if you don't like the smell of Coconut, I'd definitely suggest not getting it, obviously.

That's it, hope you enjoyed the read and I'll update within the next couple days! xo

Day 6 post op: Hungry and Anxious

So today marks day 6 post op and I must say, I AM MISERABLE.

My pain isn't so bad, it's bearable, but I've been having all my pain in my right cheek, by my joints and in my stitches. If I press along my cheek bone and my cheek, along towards the skin above my lips, it's very tender  and sore. But on the left side, there's no pain.

I've accidentally ate a few things that have seeds/seasoning/spices in it, and I'm afraid that they got in my incisions and are becoming an infection. I have antibiotics prescribed to me but I don't know if I'm supposed to take them before or after I get an infection. And of course, I didn't go to see my surgeons partner today, since I'm feeling better and the appointment was only to be kept if I was still in dire pain.

I'm very cranky and pissed off, I've never been so hungry in my entire life. All I want to do is fucking eat.

I've even broke the rules a few times and fit in tiny tiny tiny pieces of cupcake, cooked onion, jello... I didn't have to chew these pieces, but I still feel bad for doing it.

Also I'm second guessing everything I'm doing. Apparently my surgeons partner told my dad I can keep my elastics off for a couple days if I want, and my dad doesn't seem to think I need to take the antibiotics until I actually get an infection, which I don't know is right, but of course I can't call and ask my surgeons partner cause he's taken on double the clients with my surgeon being on vacation and so he's very busy. Also I don't know if I'm eating properly. Like, everything is still liquids, but this is how I eat:

open my mouth
take food in my mouth
close my mouth
swallow
open mouth
repeat

Doesn't that sound like chewing to you?
And I'm not allowed to chew.
I am so full of anxiety that I'm doing this wrong that I can't relax.


On top of all that, everyone that I speak to, either on my blog or instagram or Youtube, all has surgeons that have given them specific instructions. For example, sleep propped up, or Don't take off your elastics. So I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong. So overwhelmed right now.

Luckily my mom just came home with a lot of V8 drinks and cocktails, and my favourite Sweet potato and leek soup, which has been blended and is going into my tummy as I'm typing.

So a quick update on my swelling and bruising and whatnot:
Swelling: Has come down dramatically. I basically look back to normal, which makes me even more excited to see these 2/3/6 month results.
Bruising: Still very yellow, still very obvious.
Pain: Most of my pain is on the right side, in my joints and stitches, and short bursts of pain in my lower plate and screws (still right side)
Hunger: 100000/10
Inconvienience: over 9000
Energy: Very low

Updates tomorrow

Day 5 post op

Today was the bast day I've had so far, besides the fact that I have a bit of an episode a couple hours after I woke up.

So I'll start from the beginning: I woke up around 7:30 today, giving me 6 and a half hours of sleep! Much of an improvement considering I'd sleep for 4 hours and then wake up in agony. I gave myself some medication and fell back asleep around 8 to 12, when Evan came in.

We decided to watch a movie right away, however I was really dehydrated and not knowing it. By the end of the movie I was hot, uncomfortable, and struggling to breathe. Had a bit of a panic attack, but finally got some medication in and a lot of apple sauce and water.

Evan then took me for a walk around the block, which was okay for about half of it, but going uphill on the way back was too much and I became too weak. Evan basically had to carry me back to the house.

When I came back I ate a lot of sorbet, which actually ended up having seeds in it... I swear it was just the colouring. During this time I watched Reba on DVD and was trying so hard not to laugh or smile, but a couple times I accidentally snorted or blew a bit through my nose while trying to keep myself from laughing. It freaked me out a bit, but I was still able to breathe through my nose, so I thought I was fine. But when I went to rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth, a HUGE chunk of blood made it's way out of my mouth. Scary shit. Now I'm struggling to breathe out of one nostril.

The good news about that is that I can actually open my mouth enough to get my toothbrush in and brush my tongue and the inside of my teeth.

Overall I think I'm healing much faster than intended. The only pain I've had today was in my joints, and once I took my pain medication the only soreness has been in my stitches, as I'm actually able to smile quite well and open my mouth quite a bit. I spent most of the day without elastics on, since my surgeons said I could, but I'm keeping them on now in fear that it will change my bite if I don't. 

My pain level has gone up and down, but lately has stayed at a 4/10. My discomfort has been about a 5/10. 

My swelling has gone down so much I can't believe it. I almost look the way I did before surgery. I have a bit of puffyness in the bottom of the right side of my cheek, and some on the side of my nose on the left. But other than that, everything looks pretty symmetrical. Also, 80% of the swelling under my chin has disappeared.

My numbness has basically become nothing. It's in my lower lip and chin and under my left eye, but that's it.

My bruising is still very yellow, and very obvious. That will probably go away in a few days though.

I've had lots of ice cream and apple sauce so my energy hasn't been too bad since I went for a walk.

I'm hoping that I just heal quite fast and that this isn't a sign that anything bad is actually happening, and I hope I didn't screw up my new sinuses by blowing a bit through them.

I don't think I ever mentioned what they found in my nasal passage did I?

Well even if I did, I'll explain it again.

So while they were doing the surgery, they opened up my nasal passage and found a bone spur. Basically, my surgeon thinks that when I was very young, the bones around my nasal cavity just started growing this little piece of bone - I guess you could call it a deformity. So when you see a skull, and you see 2 holes where your nose is, my left(?) nose hole had a piece of bone growing through my sinuses. Weird.

Also, apparently my sinuses were "really messed up" as my surgeon put it. All twisted and weird, which my mom thinks is hereditary, as she has horrible sinuses. She gets sinus infections 3 times a year.

So he fixed it all up and I have brand new sinuses! Woohoo.

I'm still suprised I can breathe through them so early in the healing process. 

I'm seeing my surgeons partner again tomorrow, to ask him a few questions and tell him about how I can breathe so soon, and if I can eat mashed potatoes yet and bla bla bla. So I shall update tomorrow!!

I've been horrible with pictures, and I can't find my good webcam, but I managed to take front view and side profile pictures on my shitty webcam. Here's to being almost a week post op!

5 Days post op Front View

Right side of my profile

Left side of my profile

Day 4 post op

So today has been as big of a struggle as the last couple days. My energy is so low because of the fact that anything with protein in it makes me violently ill, so I've barely been walking around.

The pain has decreased though, even if it's just a little bit. Most of my pain has moved towards my joints and my temples. However, I still get pretty severe pain in my stitches and where they cut my bone.

I somehow managed today to take a shower, which was actually quite horrible because I had no energy to even lift my arms. I had to sit in the shower and it took me 40 minutes to wash my hair and shave under my arms.

Then I got dressed and went to see my surgeons partner. He said everything was going good, he says I'm doing a good job at brushing my teeth and taking my elastics on and off. He says that I need to walk around more though, and that everything I'm feeling is perfectly natural.

And then on the way home my mom closed the car window on my wrist. OUCH.

My bruising has peaked today, it's basically just yellow. Not much bruising. And my swelling has gone down tremendously since yesterday.

I weighed myself today, as I did 2 days ago, and I've lost 5 pounds already. I am now 110 pounds. I look anorexic.

Evan is finally coming home tomorrow, even if it's only for a couple days. He's going to take me for a walk around my street, since I need to get walking more.

My pain level is about a 6/10 and my discomfort is a 8/10.

The only 3 words I keep saying over and over again is: Kill Me Now.

Surgery tomorrow!!

Wow, I can't believe I'm actually going in for surgery tomorrow.
I'm actually in denial I think, I have random moments of anxiety but then I'm fine.

Everything I need for at least the first week has been purchased. My humidifier is working like a charm, and now Evan and I are just sitting here on our laptops.

I have no idea what I'm going to have for my last meal, but I hope it's good. Maybe chicken. Who knows.

The last thing I need to do is pack my bag for tomorrow... So far this is what I'm bringing.

• Slippers
• Sweater
• Baby toothbrush
• Mouthwash given to me by my surgeon
• Lamby

Lamby is my stuffed animal (a lamb, obviously) that I've had literally since the day I was born. She's no longer pink, and the polka dots have faded, and her nose is half falling off, but she's like my security blanket :)

Since this is my last pre-op post, I'll just quickly go over what my surgeon is doing:

He's moving my upper jaw 3mm up and 4mm forward. My lower jaw is being moved 8mm forward and rotated upward slightly. Somehow while doing this he's changing the plane of my bite, and somehow this is opening up my airways so I can breathe twice as much.
Because of my cold, he's putting a nasal tube in my nose. I'm praying to god they're gonna put a tube through my nose into my stomach cause I definitely don't want to throw up blood. Actually, I definitely don't want to throw up at all.

Thanks to everyone who has read my blog through these last few months of being pre-op. I'm very happy to get on the other side of the electrical saw and start the healing process! Hopefully it's a good recovery and I don't swell too much.

I'll post when I get back from the hospital!! eeeeek

Surgery Update: Surgical Hooks on and ONE WEEK TO GO

Hello again everyone!!
I am happy to tell you all that I finally got my surgical hooks on!!!

I went in today and got them hooked onto my braces, the cool thing is that they're bendable so i can bend them in such a way so they don't annoy me. But at the same time it worries me that they won't be strong enough to hold onto the elastics post-surgery. Oh well, we'll see.

This is what they look like:

Excuse my ripped up lips, when I get anxiety I tend to tear them apart.


ONE WEEK TO GO!!!
My anxiety isn't that bad right now. I'm actually very excited to see my new face... Well kind of. I keep looking at all the old pictures of me and my boyfriend, or me and my friends/family, and I'm finding myself sad that I'll never be like that anymore, that eventually I'll look at these pictures and not recognize myself, basically like looking a stranger. But I'm keeping optimistic. I'm just excited to get the first week over and done with...

So anyways, when I saw my orthodontist, I was having a bad case of sniffles, since my cold is still going strong. He said that if I still have a cold by surgery time then it might not happen. NOT impressed. I will admit, I wasn't the nicest to my boyfriend for a couple hours after that, who gave me the cold.

In more surgery related news, my surgeons office called yesterday and said my surgeon wants to take a photo shoot with me this upcoming Tuesday; I guess to make sure that everything he's doing to my face won't make me look funny. I actually don't know why. But the lady I spoke to and I both laughed at the thought of having a photo shoot with my surgeon lmfao.

Nothing else is new other than that though. Today I got a hair cut & ombre highlights, just so I can still feel slightly pretty after surgery. You can't really notice them to be honest. They're very subtle. The cool thing is that they'll lighten in the sun this summer and then my hairdresser and I were thinking of dying my hair RED... oooooh.
 I also did most of my surgery/post-op shopping today but I still need to get more stuff, and I'm just nursing my cold basically. I pray to god that I don't get a sinus infection like my boyfriend did, and that I'm fine for surgery. I've waited 3 years for this, and my surgeon is away on vacation the following week, so I refuse to postpone this any longer.

Once I finishing buying all the shit I need for surgery I'll post pictures of it all :)

I shall leave you with a picture I just took of sick Becca with her new haaaaaaiiirr chillin beside a Honey Badger
TTFN
Ta Ta For Now

SICK

Sick, I am sick.

SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK

It actually isn't that bad, a little sore throat, but since my boyfriend gave it to me and he's coughing up nasty crap, I'm assuming that will happen to me too.

A week and a half pre-op too!!! I hope I'm better for the surgery.

First off I want to apologize for having my tags say "underbite" as I am stupid and for some reason put that there. I have an OVERBITE. not Underbite.

Also I should probably start communicating more with other people on their blogs because I just assumed you don't know who's following you, but I came on Blogger 5 minutes ago and it said I had one follower!!! So to my one follower I LOVE YOU :)

I think my goal is to get my followers. Just so I know I'm actually sharing my journey through all of this with people, you know?

What else is going on in my boring life....

My mom started having a panic attack over some of the things I was saying today about my surgery. She freaks out over everything. I was trying to explain to her, that if I could do all of this over again, I'd choose my own orthodontist, I'd choose my surgeon, I'd get second opinions, because I never did that. I was just handed whoever. Who knows, maybe I'd prefer another surgeon over my current one. Not to say my current one is unqualified.

I'm terrified about throwing up after surgery!!! Helpppp. My surgeon said that only 1 in 20 of his patients throw up after surgery but KILL ME I swear to god I'm going to be that person. I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch so sorry if I do haha.

I literally have nothing to talk about... maybe The Walking Dead?
Who saw the season finale tonight?
Seriously not what I expected it to be. I'm not gonna put any spoilers but holy shit.

This post is getting to be pointless.

I hope everyone had an incredible Easter weekend or Passover! I'll post soon.. getting my hair done soon so maybe I'll post pictures. WHO KNOWS.

TWO WEEKS!

Hello there everyone,

Just thought I'd make a quick post because Evan is off getting pizza, but mostly because today marks 2 weeks before my surgery!

I'm starting to get mixed feelings... I've kept telling myself this whole time that this surgery is necessary but is it really? It's not causing me any TMJ pain, or problems chewing or speaking, the only thing is that the right side of my jaw clicks. And that doesn't even hurt. Also I'm starting to realize this decision was almost never mine. My Orthodontist basically told me I had to do it. Or made it such a big deal that I thought it was necessary.
Apparently this surgery is supposed to prevent things, but the risks involved are developing the things I'm trying to prevent?
Am I even old enough to handle such a surgery?

On the other hand, I am quite excited. This surgery has been talked about for 3 years, and the day is only 2 weeks away.

But seriously, is all this even worth my face completely changing when I don't even have any issues? Like yeah my lips don't touch, but that's cosmetic. And I've been trying to convince myself that this isn't cosmetic, since I'm against that, but I'm failing miserably.

For my friends and family that read this, any words of encouragement would be appreciated. I'm starting to get nervous already, and I know some people close to me don't agree with this surgery at all, which makes me even more nervous.

I'll post soon, the latest being a week from now when I get my surgical hooks on!!