Thought I'd do an update for you all since... Well... I'm bored out of my mind.
It's 2 am so technically it's 70 days post op but since I haven't slept yet I'm just gonna say it's 69 days post op! I'd be happy about this, except for the fact that's its been 10 weeks post op and I have another 2 weeks to go before I can chew... not that that's stopped me. I feel so horrible but I can't help but chew my food. It's just a reaction I instantly have. I've chewed almost everything I've ate. And yes, I've ate meat and foods that require chewing. I've been bad. I feel bad. So I'm gonna dedicate the last 2 weeks to not chewing.
I see my ortho Tuesday. Last time I was there, a week and a half ago, we took my elastics off fully for 2 weeks, and if nothing moves, I keep the elastics off until I see my surgeon 2 weeks later. Then, whatever he says, goes. I am praying that nothing moved. But knowing my luck with all this bullshit, I'm sure something did move.
I'm still having pain in the left side of my head. It's really irritating, and this last week I've been getting headaches, which is normal for some people, but I never get headaches. Ever.
I'm still not sure if this was worth it. I didn't get much, if anything, out of it. The only good thing about it so far is that it's a great conversation starter or a good topic to talk about. "So... I have a bunch of titanium plates and screws in my face". I actually met some of Evan's family the other day, his Grandmother, Aunt and Cousin. His aunt has had a horrible time this past year, a doctor accidentally poked holes in both her lungs and she went through multiple surgeries to fix it, including a month long artificial coma. She's recovering well, but it's been almost 10 months since and she's just starting to walk unassisted. She was a huge inspiration for me, knowing that she went through and survived what she did, it kept me strong through the last few days pre-op and gave me hope since being post op. But they are lovely people and I'm glad I met them.
I'm almost completely numbness-free and my bite still looks fab. Lately I've been able to fit 3 fingers in my mouth instead of 2, which I think is awesome progress.
Other that that I've just been trying to live my life. I've been taking Sasha for long walks, every time upping it a kilometer. So far we're at 4.5 km but I'm trying to go higher, it's good for both me and her. I took Chloe to the park today and she was quite content :)
I'm trying to get schooling stuff together. It's frustrating because we're paying tuition through an education fund but I need someone from the registrar to fill out some forms, but I can't find the # for the registrar? Payment is due on the 5th of July, where as Rez fees are due on the 1st and I haven't received an email with the fees statement and whatnot. It's kind of hectic because my A.D.D. numbs my brain and makes me feel retarded when I try to do this stuff alone, I need serious help understanding this stuff and it's really the simplest thing to understand. I hate how my brain doesn't just intake information like most people's do. It's like there are guards blocking my brain and any information that wants to be absorbed needs the fucking password.
I will for sure update after I see my orthodontist on Tuesday. Hope you guys have been having a better couple weeks than I have lmfao :)
Showing posts with label unhappy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unhappy. Show all posts
Friday, June 21, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Surgeon's appointment, 8 and a half weeks post op
So I wanted to do a a quick update on the appointments I had with my surgeon and my orthodontist today.
I woke up late this morning... as usual. Rushed to get ready, and got to my surgeons office in record timing. I waited for him for like half an hour... 10 min in the waiting room and 20 in the "dentist room" as I call it. While I was in the waiting room, this elderly lady comes in and is like "I'm here for my 11:45 am appointment with Dr. (Insert name here)." It was 9:30 am. What the?
So anyways he finally comes into the Dentist Room and checks my bite, says it's good, and then wiggles my upper jaw. He then says that my upper jaw STILL isn't attached to my face and that he wants me to ask my orthodontist about having my elastics off fully now. This makes me nervous because I feel like my bite shifts throughout the day. It gets farther and farther apart. Anyways, he says because my upper jaw still isn't attached, he would prefer I don't chew food for another month, or at least eat food that requires minimal chewing. My heart sank, these have been the best 4 days of my life.
The shitty thing is that I won't be seeing my surgeon for another month, so everything has slowed down a month basically. Bleh.
Then I went to my orthodontist. I was in and out in 5 minutes which is unusual but hey I'm not complaining. I told my ortho about having the elastics off completely now, and he was hesitant but said that we would have them off for 2 weeks, I would then see him again, and if nothing moved then we keep them off until I see my surgeon 2 weeks after that. But he said it would be too much of a pain to take the surgical hooks off and then have to put them back on, so they're gonna be on for at least another month.
The only good news I got today was that I got accepted into a Single Room for residence. Other than that I'm pretty depressed about the whole thing, I feel like I've completely wasted my time with this process. I have pain on the side of my face, I still cant chew, I hate my physical features (most of them) and everything is taking so god damn fucking long to heal.
Honestly I should have never done this.
I woke up late this morning... as usual. Rushed to get ready, and got to my surgeons office in record timing. I waited for him for like half an hour... 10 min in the waiting room and 20 in the "dentist room" as I call it. While I was in the waiting room, this elderly lady comes in and is like "I'm here for my 11:45 am appointment with Dr. (Insert name here)." It was 9:30 am. What the?
So anyways he finally comes into the Dentist Room and checks my bite, says it's good, and then wiggles my upper jaw. He then says that my upper jaw STILL isn't attached to my face and that he wants me to ask my orthodontist about having my elastics off fully now. This makes me nervous because I feel like my bite shifts throughout the day. It gets farther and farther apart. Anyways, he says because my upper jaw still isn't attached, he would prefer I don't chew food for another month, or at least eat food that requires minimal chewing. My heart sank, these have been the best 4 days of my life.
The shitty thing is that I won't be seeing my surgeon for another month, so everything has slowed down a month basically. Bleh.
Then I went to my orthodontist. I was in and out in 5 minutes which is unusual but hey I'm not complaining. I told my ortho about having the elastics off completely now, and he was hesitant but said that we would have them off for 2 weeks, I would then see him again, and if nothing moved then we keep them off until I see my surgeon 2 weeks after that. But he said it would be too much of a pain to take the surgical hooks off and then have to put them back on, so they're gonna be on for at least another month.
The only good news I got today was that I got accepted into a Single Room for residence. Other than that I'm pretty depressed about the whole thing, I feel like I've completely wasted my time with this process. I have pain on the side of my face, I still cant chew, I hate my physical features (most of them) and everything is taking so god damn fucking long to heal.
Honestly I should have never done this.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Day 41 post op / Surgeons appointment
I know I was gonna post yesterday after my surgeons appointment but the last couple of days have been pretty shitty.
However I did receive good news from my surgeon, he says that nothing seems to have moved, meaning no destruction in my plates and no additional surgery! He did however say that my upper jaw is still not fully attached to my face, so there's a chance that if I was to position myself in any other way when the airbag hit... I don't even wanna think about it.
But yeah, since my upper jaw isn't re-attached quite yet, he says that he wants me out of elastics all day, and only in elastics when I'm asleep - this is because there's a chance that when I'm in elastics and awake, the talking or yawning (basically tugging my elastics) is causing stress to my jaws, and not allowing my upper jaw to "firm up", and heal fully. Which is great news for me cause it's less time in elastics!!
I saw my ortho as well and he was curious about my cuts but it was just a quick appointment, he just wanted to take a look and said to follow my surgeons instructions. I asked him about when my surgical hooks are coming off and he said when my surgeon gives him the okay, so I'm hoping that's soon!
Other than that everything has been kinda shitty lately. I'm so broke it's not even funny. I have a list of things I need to buy, a list of things I want to buy, and of course my top priority which is a new car... and that's a whole other situation. My parents are helping me out until I get back to work, which I absolutely hate because I do not like asking for help from my parents, especially in the money aspect of my life. Also, I don't even know about my work, because I can't really do a lot of it. My job involves doing things where you may or may not get hit in the face, especially on a busy day - I remember being hit in the face multiple times. And since I can't risk my face getting hit, I can't do much but clean... and I don't think that's a priority for my boss soooo idk it's just a really stressful time right now. There's a whole lot of personal things going on too that I'm not going to get into because it's a long story and I'd like to keep some parts of my life to myself.
Jaw surgery related... everything is still the same. However, I'm getting a lot of feeling back in my lower lip which I am sooooo happy about! And I cannot wait to start chewing food in 2 weeks. But other than that, there's nothing else to talk about really...
I'll post later on this week or next! Probably saturday cause I'm gonna wanna talk about this party... that I may or may not go to... K byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunday, May 19, 2013
5 weeks post op / car accident!
Hey guys, I just had to make a post on my blog today as I just got back from camping, and something bad has happened.
And when I mean bad, I mean horrible.
Friday we left to go camping on my friend Baileys Uncle's property. He owns 116 acres so it's an incredible, gorgeous place to set up a tent and have a good party.
Anyways, we leave Evan's home (Evan and me in my car, Bailey and Brandon in Brandon's car) and we come up to a stop light. The light turned yellow, so Brandon came to a stop. Evan tried to break... but it wouldn't work. I screamed, but it was too late. The last thing I remember was trying to cover my face as we went 50 km/h into the back of brandons car.
Airbags came flying out, glass got smashed, and of course my face got smashed against the airbag. I was only out for a few seconds, but when I came to, I was face-deep in the airbag. I pushed it away, looked in the mirror and saw my face was badly cut up. That's when panic set in. I freaked, jumped out of the car, and started running around the road like a chicken with its head cut off. I grabbed my phone and called my mom, screaming about the accident. I was in a bad state of shock. A bystander came running over and got me onto the grass, we sat down and she rubbed my back while she called 911.
My car was totaled. The hood was bent, the windshield was damaged. It would cost the same price to fix just the airbags as it did to purchase the car itself just last year.
Everyone was worried about my face. I was terrified something happened to it. But I was speaking clearly, forming sentences, so obviously nothing absolutely terrible happened, but I didn't know that at the time. The police and ambulance showed up, and I got in the ambulance a few minutes later. We drove straight to the hospital where my parents were waiting, while Evan stayed back to deal with the police officer and the accident. The ambulance ride was kinda cool, and while I was there they cleaned out my cuts with sterile water. I was only in the hospital for about an hour and a half, I was in the fast track lane and so I saw a doctor pretty quick. He checked me out and said I was fine, that there was no concussion and I was free to go. Evan and his mom showed up just then, she came down to make sure I was okay cause she's the best.
And after all this... I decided to still go camping. I wasn't gonna let some surface cuts ruin my weekend! And luckily I had a great time. We spoke to my surgeon when I was at the hospital (my mom called) and he said that if I'm not in excruciating pain and my bite is still in the same place then I should be okay, but I'm going to go see him Tuesday just to double check.
The good thing is that Brandons car has the smallest, most unnoticeable crack in the rear bumper. But what really disturbed me about the whole thing, now that I think of it, is that people were driving by, sticking their head out the window, and laughing at us. Staring at me while I was sitting on the ground with a cut up face, laughing. I cannot fathom how fucked up this world is sometimes.
So since then, the only pain I have is right under my right nostril. It's either one of those under-the-skin pimples, or my plates there are damaged or irritated. Or, it's just irritated from the blunt force from the airbag.
And actually, that's probably the only thing that's happened lately worth sharing. Other than that I've been sleeping, eating, and sleeping even more. I'll definitely update after Tuesday... I really hope I don't have to have another surgery but who knows. I am just so lucky and so blessed that nothing more happened to me. Everyone else was okay, but unfortunately Bailey has horrible whiplash and Evan got some rashes and achy muscles. My car on the other hand... is not my car anymore. It was totaled, I signed it over to a towing company who's going to smash it. So now I'm wondering... When am I getting another car?
That's about it, I'll talk to you all Tuesday!
And when I mean bad, I mean horrible.
Friday we left to go camping on my friend Baileys Uncle's property. He owns 116 acres so it's an incredible, gorgeous place to set up a tent and have a good party.
Anyways, we leave Evan's home (Evan and me in my car, Bailey and Brandon in Brandon's car) and we come up to a stop light. The light turned yellow, so Brandon came to a stop. Evan tried to break... but it wouldn't work. I screamed, but it was too late. The last thing I remember was trying to cover my face as we went 50 km/h into the back of brandons car.
Airbags came flying out, glass got smashed, and of course my face got smashed against the airbag. I was only out for a few seconds, but when I came to, I was face-deep in the airbag. I pushed it away, looked in the mirror and saw my face was badly cut up. That's when panic set in. I freaked, jumped out of the car, and started running around the road like a chicken with its head cut off. I grabbed my phone and called my mom, screaming about the accident. I was in a bad state of shock. A bystander came running over and got me onto the grass, we sat down and she rubbed my back while she called 911.
My car was totaled. The hood was bent, the windshield was damaged. It would cost the same price to fix just the airbags as it did to purchase the car itself just last year.
Everyone was worried about my face. I was terrified something happened to it. But I was speaking clearly, forming sentences, so obviously nothing absolutely terrible happened, but I didn't know that at the time. The police and ambulance showed up, and I got in the ambulance a few minutes later. We drove straight to the hospital where my parents were waiting, while Evan stayed back to deal with the police officer and the accident. The ambulance ride was kinda cool, and while I was there they cleaned out my cuts with sterile water. I was only in the hospital for about an hour and a half, I was in the fast track lane and so I saw a doctor pretty quick. He checked me out and said I was fine, that there was no concussion and I was free to go. Evan and his mom showed up just then, she came down to make sure I was okay cause she's the best.
And after all this... I decided to still go camping. I wasn't gonna let some surface cuts ruin my weekend! And luckily I had a great time. We spoke to my surgeon when I was at the hospital (my mom called) and he said that if I'm not in excruciating pain and my bite is still in the same place then I should be okay, but I'm going to go see him Tuesday just to double check.
The good thing is that Brandons car has the smallest, most unnoticeable crack in the rear bumper. But what really disturbed me about the whole thing, now that I think of it, is that people were driving by, sticking their head out the window, and laughing at us. Staring at me while I was sitting on the ground with a cut up face, laughing. I cannot fathom how fucked up this world is sometimes.
So since then, the only pain I have is right under my right nostril. It's either one of those under-the-skin pimples, or my plates there are damaged or irritated. Or, it's just irritated from the blunt force from the airbag.
And actually, that's probably the only thing that's happened lately worth sharing. Other than that I've been sleeping, eating, and sleeping even more. I'll definitely update after Tuesday... I really hope I don't have to have another surgery but who knows. I am just so lucky and so blessed that nothing more happened to me. Everyone else was okay, but unfortunately Bailey has horrible whiplash and Evan got some rashes and achy muscles. My car on the other hand... is not my car anymore. It was totaled, I signed it over to a towing company who's going to smash it. So now I'm wondering... When am I getting another car?
That's about it, I'll talk to you all Tuesday!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Day 6 post op: Hungry and Anxious
So today marks day 6 post op and I must say, I AM MISERABLE.
My pain isn't so bad, it's bearable, but I've been having all my pain in my right cheek, by my joints and in my stitches. If I press along my cheek bone and my cheek, along towards the skin above my lips, it's very tender and sore. But on the left side, there's no pain.
I've accidentally ate a few things that have seeds/seasoning/spices in it, and I'm afraid that they got in my incisions and are becoming an infection. I have antibiotics prescribed to me but I don't know if I'm supposed to take them before or after I get an infection. And of course, I didn't go to see my surgeons partner today, since I'm feeling better and the appointment was only to be kept if I was still in dire pain.
I'm very cranky and pissed off, I've never been so hungry in my entire life. All I want to do is fucking eat.
I've even broke the rules a few times and fit in tiny tiny tiny pieces of cupcake, cooked onion, jello... I didn't have to chew these pieces, but I still feel bad for doing it.
Also I'm second guessing everything I'm doing. Apparently my surgeons partner told my dad I can keep my elastics off for a couple days if I want, and my dad doesn't seem to think I need to take the antibiotics until I actually get an infection, which I don't know is right, but of course I can't call and ask my surgeons partner cause he's taken on double the clients with my surgeon being on vacation and so he's very busy. Also I don't know if I'm eating properly. Like, everything is still liquids, but this is how I eat:
open my mouth
take food in my mouth
close my mouth
swallow
open mouth
repeat
Doesn't that sound like chewing to you?
And I'm not allowed to chew.
I am so full of anxiety that I'm doing this wrong that I can't relax.
On top of all that, everyone that I speak to, either on my blog or instagram or Youtube, all has surgeons that have given them specific instructions. For example, sleep propped up, or Don't take off your elastics. So I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong. So overwhelmed right now.
Luckily my mom just came home with a lot of V8 drinks and cocktails, and my favourite Sweet potato and leek soup, which has been blended and is going into my tummy as I'm typing.
So a quick update on my swelling and bruising and whatnot:
Swelling: Has come down dramatically. I basically look back to normal, which makes me even more excited to see these 2/3/6 month results.
Bruising: Still very yellow, still very obvious.
Pain: Most of my pain is on the right side, in my joints and stitches, and short bursts of pain in my lower plate and screws (still right side)
Hunger: 100000/10
Inconvienience: over 9000
Energy: Very low
Updates tomorrow
My pain isn't so bad, it's bearable, but I've been having all my pain in my right cheek, by my joints and in my stitches. If I press along my cheek bone and my cheek, along towards the skin above my lips, it's very tender and sore. But on the left side, there's no pain.
I've accidentally ate a few things that have seeds/seasoning/spices in it, and I'm afraid that they got in my incisions and are becoming an infection. I have antibiotics prescribed to me but I don't know if I'm supposed to take them before or after I get an infection. And of course, I didn't go to see my surgeons partner today, since I'm feeling better and the appointment was only to be kept if I was still in dire pain.
I'm very cranky and pissed off, I've never been so hungry in my entire life. All I want to do is fucking eat.
I've even broke the rules a few times and fit in tiny tiny tiny pieces of cupcake, cooked onion, jello... I didn't have to chew these pieces, but I still feel bad for doing it.
Also I'm second guessing everything I'm doing. Apparently my surgeons partner told my dad I can keep my elastics off for a couple days if I want, and my dad doesn't seem to think I need to take the antibiotics until I actually get an infection, which I don't know is right, but of course I can't call and ask my surgeons partner cause he's taken on double the clients with my surgeon being on vacation and so he's very busy. Also I don't know if I'm eating properly. Like, everything is still liquids, but this is how I eat:
open my mouth
take food in my mouth
close my mouth
swallow
open mouth
repeat
Doesn't that sound like chewing to you?
And I'm not allowed to chew.
I am so full of anxiety that I'm doing this wrong that I can't relax.
On top of all that, everyone that I speak to, either on my blog or instagram or Youtube, all has surgeons that have given them specific instructions. For example, sleep propped up, or Don't take off your elastics. So I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong. So overwhelmed right now.
Luckily my mom just came home with a lot of V8 drinks and cocktails, and my favourite Sweet potato and leek soup, which has been blended and is going into my tummy as I'm typing.
So a quick update on my swelling and bruising and whatnot:
Swelling: Has come down dramatically. I basically look back to normal, which makes me even more excited to see these 2/3/6 month results.
Bruising: Still very yellow, still very obvious.
Pain: Most of my pain is on the right side, in my joints and stitches, and short bursts of pain in my lower plate and screws (still right side)
Hunger: 100000/10
Inconvienience: over 9000
Energy: Very low
Updates tomorrow
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Day 2 and 3 post op
I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I should, but the last 2 days have kind of melted together.
First off I'd like to say that I regret this a lot. I can feel tension and pain in my joints, which, I could be wrong, but indicates TMJ, which I didn't have before. It's probably just my muscles tensing up, but I'm really on edge about everything.
The last 2 days have been unbelievably hard. Most of my time I've spent crying because I've been in so much pain. My medication I have to crush up, dissolve, and then mix with something and drink it. But the Ibuprofen and percs taste absolutely horrible, and 90% of the time I've been unbearably nauseous. The only thing to mask the taste is thick yogurt or apple sauce, which is incredibly hard to take with your jaw basically wired shut, so I've been having to take off my elastics and open my mouth a little bit (not much though cause my face is too tensed up) and that hurts a lot.
When I manage to take my medication though, I become so out of it, so sleepy, that I'm in and out of consciousness for hours. It takes me about 2 hours to fully regain consciousness after I wake up. I hate being like that. But, I'd rather be like that then dealing with this pain.
My parents called my surgeons partner today, he helped my surgeon with the surgery. He faxed over a prescription for a heavy heavy anti - nausea drug, and so far I'm loving it. It's the kind that you get prescribed when you have cancer and going through Chemotherapy. I'm actually managing to eat yogurt and jello and all kinds of food. It's difficult but I feel a lot better than I have been the last few days.
Numbness
I'm actually surprised at how much I'm not numb. I have feeling in my upper lip, my nose, most of my cheeks, under one eye, the only place there's noticeable numbness is my chin and lower lip, but even in my lower lip it just feels like I bit it and have been holding onto it for a few hours. So, kind of a tingly painful numb.
I just can't wait for Week One to be over. I've been grumpy, in a lot of pain and nausea, and I definitely wish I didn't do this.
I'm seeing my surgeons partner tomorrow so I'll update then.
TTFN
First off I'd like to say that I regret this a lot. I can feel tension and pain in my joints, which, I could be wrong, but indicates TMJ, which I didn't have before. It's probably just my muscles tensing up, but I'm really on edge about everything.
The last 2 days have been unbelievably hard. Most of my time I've spent crying because I've been in so much pain. My medication I have to crush up, dissolve, and then mix with something and drink it. But the Ibuprofen and percs taste absolutely horrible, and 90% of the time I've been unbearably nauseous. The only thing to mask the taste is thick yogurt or apple sauce, which is incredibly hard to take with your jaw basically wired shut, so I've been having to take off my elastics and open my mouth a little bit (not much though cause my face is too tensed up) and that hurts a lot.
When I manage to take my medication though, I become so out of it, so sleepy, that I'm in and out of consciousness for hours. It takes me about 2 hours to fully regain consciousness after I wake up. I hate being like that. But, I'd rather be like that then dealing with this pain.
My parents called my surgeons partner today, he helped my surgeon with the surgery. He faxed over a prescription for a heavy heavy anti - nausea drug, and so far I'm loving it. It's the kind that you get prescribed when you have cancer and going through Chemotherapy. I'm actually managing to eat yogurt and jello and all kinds of food. It's difficult but I feel a lot better than I have been the last few days.
Numbness
I'm actually surprised at how much I'm not numb. I have feeling in my upper lip, my nose, most of my cheeks, under one eye, the only place there's noticeable numbness is my chin and lower lip, but even in my lower lip it just feels like I bit it and have been holding onto it for a few hours. So, kind of a tingly painful numb.
I just can't wait for Week One to be over. I've been grumpy, in a lot of pain and nausea, and I definitely wish I didn't do this.
I'm seeing my surgeons partner tomorrow so I'll update then.
TTFN
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