Day 17 post op / Coconut Oil

Wow I can't believe I haven't posted in 5 days. I feel so bad lol.

The reason for this is because I don't have much to report! Also I was away this weekend at my boyfriends. But that's irrelevant.

So the last 5 days, as I mentioned, have been uneventful. I've ate, drank, slept, laughed, cried, smiled... I know I'm only 2 and a half weeks post op but I feel normal. My jaw doesn't hurt. I eat whatever I want (as long as I don't chew) and my breathing is fantastic.
Don't tell my surgeon but I even eat meat! I cut it up into teeny tiny pieces, put it in my mouth, suck on it for a bit and then swallow whole.
That sounded so dirty.

So for the last few days, I've ate a lot of mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal, tea, I've had tiny pieces of peameal bacon, spaghetti cut up into little pieces, popcorn (don't ask how I eat that without chewing) and a lotttt of ice cream.
Evan's mom was so sweet, she made me a separate meal of mashed potatoes for when I came over for the weekend, and went out in the morning to buy eggs for me :)
Evan's brother was sweet too, he made smoothies. Evan and his mom hated it but I loved it, it was really good. Kinda reminded me of strawberry ice cream.

The pain in my face non-existent unless I touch it. For example, I still have bad pain in my left temple/side of head, but only when I touch it. The middle part of my nose hurts, but only when I touch it. My lower plates hurt, but only when I touch it. And my stitches hurt, but only when I'm laughing, like last night when I watched A Haunted House, I cracked up so bad it literally hurt.
Because I don't really feel any pain, I'm not taking anymore pain medication, however I'm still taking my antibiotics... Kind of. I'm doing a horrible job of taking one every 8 hours. More like 1 a day.

As for numbness, I'm actually starting to gain a bit of feeling back in my lower lip/chin!! When I was eating ice cream the other day, I could feel it drip down my chin for the first time. And there is definite tingling in my lower lip.

My swelling has come to a standstill, like I mentioned before. I still have definition in my cheekbones and I could not be happier. My smile is a little off, but it will get better with time.

All-in-all my healing has been wonderful. My surgeon said my sleeping position does not matter anymore, so now that I've moved back to sleeping in a bed, I usually sleep on my side. And Evan says I don't snore anymore so yay :D
I'm pretty sure I've followed my surgeon's instructions fairly well, although I drank the smoothie Blake made through a straw which I'm not allowed to do. I think that was my only setback.
My surgeon did tell me he wants me stretching my jaw muscles more, which means out of elastics for longer. I think I've accomplished this, I only wear my elastics when I'm sleeping..... Lol
The only thing I'm concerned about is my bite. When I'm in elastics, it pulls my jaw forward and to the left a bit. But it's in a completely different position out of elastics. Hopefully this isn't an issue.

So for pain it would be a 1/10
Swelling is... maybe 2/10?
and inconvenience is probably 4/10

The last thing I want to mention on this topic is that my jaw has random spasms. Well, I don't know if you'd call them spasms. It just kind of twitches really bad, like I'll be trying to sleep and suddenly my lower jaw will shoot to the left. And I'm lying here like what the actual fuck beep. I read this is normal though so I'm not too worried.

Okay so I know this is strange, since this is a jaw surgery blog, but I wanted to talk about this since I think it's the coolest thing ever. Coconut Oil!!

My surgeon suggested this to me to hike up the calories and fat in my food so I gain more weight back / be more healthy. I talked to my good family friend about it and she swears by the stuff. She recently went through her second fight against breast cancer (and won because she's a boss) and to keep her weight from dropping too much because of the chemotherapy she used Coconut Oil, so I went and bought a huge jar of the same stuff she had. Then I started doing a little "research"... aka Google search engine... and found out it does wonders for your hair and skin!
I watched a few tutorials on Youtube and so I tried it out for myself. Of course I didn't listen to the tutorials well, I kind of used too much... But let me tell you, it's amazing. My hair has never felt so soft and smooth, and it smells really good! I also put some on my skin... I've had trouble with the blackheads on my nose / cheeks since I hit puberty, and they're gone now. Gone. In one use.
Coconut oil works as a moisturizer and an acne fighter, and apparently it helps your hair grow longer!
Anyways I just wanted to mention this for anyone who comes across my blog who maaaay have issues with dry hair or skin blemishes. However if you don't like the smell of Coconut, I'd definitely suggest not getting it, obviously.

That's it, hope you enjoyed the read and I'll update within the next couple days! xo

day 12 post op

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to do a quick update on today because I've had a bit of a scare and now my jaw is all funny.

Earlier today my pup came home from her weekly wednesday doggy daycare day. I laid on the ground and played with her, while my elastics were off, and as I tried to get up, my other dog stepped on my hair, yanking my head back and jutting my lower jaw forward, causing stretching and bad pain. I ran and put on my elastics, but a few hours later took them off to eat some food.

I noticed now that when i close my jaw, it doesn't... fit. The teeth beside my canine tooth on my left side kind of hit edges, instead of fitting into the grooves of each other like they used to.

Ever since I have been able to take off my elastics, I noticed that when my teeth are in elastics, they're much closer together than they are when the elastics are off. And to get my teeth that close together when the elastics are off, I have to... shift my lower jaw forward? It's strange. I'm not too concerned but at the same time I'm a little worried that my surgeon positioned my lower jaw while it was shifted forward and not when it was relaxed, so now it's all weird. I dunno.

If any of you guys who read my blog can relate and give me some info I would so appreciate it. Other than that it's been a lazy day with yummy food and now I'm about to make some ice cream mixed with Rolo milkshake mmmmmm

later sk8rs

Day 11 post op: Surgeon's appointment

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeello everyone!!!!

I am in the best mood I've been in since before surgery. I saw my surgeon today and everything went FAB-TAB-U-LOUS

So I got to my surgeons office and barely waited 15 seconds before my surgeon came in. He took off my elastics and asked me to open and close my mouth, all the while smiling insanely. He said the healing looks great and that I'm healing on a faster rate than most people which was awesome to hear. He said my incisions look great, I am allowed using my regular toothpaste and mouthwash, and, the best news, I AM NO LONGER ON A LIQUID DIET!!!

That's right, I'm allowed to eat ANYTHING I want as long as it can be mashed down and able to eat without chewing. I was, I AM, soooo happy.

Now onto the pain. I told my surgeon about the pain in my temple. He pushed on the exact spots where it hurt which was not fun but he said it was because of tension since I'm squeezing my teeth together. He said that squeezing my teeth together is a really bad thing to do. It can shift the plates and cause a lot of tension. Ever since I've caught myself squeezing my teeth a lot and it's frustrating but I'm trying.

I am now only supposed to use one elastic in each spot instead of doubling up on them. He told me to take off my elastics a lot and move my jaw a lot to get the muscles to stretch.

Basically everything looks great and my healing is great and there are no worries. So I went to Nature's Emporium and got some Sweet Potato and Carrot, Shepards pie, and Coconut Oil***. Then I bought some pasta at my favourite Italian eatery and went home. The Sweet Potato and Carrot was mashed, the Shepards pie blended, and The pasta was put in the blender with more tomato sauce and blended up. It was all SO. GOOD. I've ate everything in the house that I can. Oh and I bought Avocados to make guacamole later. UHFDOFH so happy.

However once I got home I noticed 2 things:

One, my back molars on the upper right side are very weak. Even when I brush very gently against it, it feels like it's being pushed on hard. It's weird.

and Two, I took my elastics off for a while and after about half an hour, my joints really started to hurt on the right. But once I put my elastics back on, the pain went away instantly. Also, when my teeth are closed without elastics, there in a different position than when my elastics are on. I'm worried that when my elastics come off permanently, my jaw will stay in that position it's in when my elastics are off and I'll be in really bad pain in my joints. Only time will tell but who knows.

My best friends came and visited me today which was awesome because I haven't seen one of them in months! Other than that I took my dogs for a walk and that was about all I did today.

Since things are pretty much slowing down I'll probably start updating every other day, or any day anything significant happens.

Talk to you all soon!

*** My surgeon wants me to put Coconut Oil in any warm foods to keep my calories up... I've been eating Buttercream icing and ice cream since I got home, I don't think my calorie intake is too low at all :P

Day 10 post op

So I'm finally in the double-digits of my post op experience and I'm in a much better mood than I was yesterday. I was in the middle of making a post bitching about my surgery yesterday, but my laptop died. Good thing it did too, cause that was a really depressing post.

I'll try to sum it up without making it depressing. I am pretty disappointed with the outcome of the surgery. The physical attributes that I was hoping would be fixed are not. My gummy smile is still present, my lips aren't a millimeter closer together, and my jaw isn't more defined, although time will tell with this because I assume I'm still swollen.

It's so weird how not swollen I am. I look the exact same I did before surgery. Maybe a little swollen by the plates in my lower jaw, but that's about it.

ANYWAYS as I was saying, I'm in a much better mood than yesterday. I watched tv for a while, had some Yop, and took my dog shooshoo (her name is Sasha but shooshoo is her nickname) for a walk. Then my mom came home with a chocolate Nesquik(?) milkshake kinda thing. Then I went with her to her classroom (she's a kindergarten teacher) and helped her clean up a bit and now I'm home.

Since I'm not feeling any pain or discomfort lately, and my energy levels are fine, it doesn't even feel like I had surgery, other than the fact that I can't chew.

I'm still thinking if this surgery was really worth it. The pain was unreal, my sleeping sucks, I can't eat anything and it's impossible to talk.

My pain today was a 1/10.
Inconvenience 10/10.
Hunger 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10.
My swelling has come to a standstill basically but since I'm barely swollen it doesn't bother me.

Life has really slowed down and I'm just waiting for the OK to eat more food. I can't wait to be able to eat guacamole ugh I miss it so much.

Tomorrow I get to see my surgeon!! I'll post after I see him, I'm praying that I can eat more food. EEEEEEEEEEEEE

Day 7 late update and Day 8 post op

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I'm also posting via iPhone today cause, well, I'm too lazy to get my laptop.

So yesterday wasn't anything special. I didnt take any pain medication all day, and I slept miserably because I decided to try sleeping without heavy medication. My aunt in Calgary sent me beautiful flowers, which was a nice surprise. But other than that, I was just miserable because I'm so hungry.

Today I woke up with a better attitude than I was in yesterday, although that quickly changed because my sister is crazy and a spoiled brat. But I put on some music and I became really happy, for the first time since surgery I was saying "yeaaaah I'm post op!" instead of "ugh im post op". I drank v8 juice and had enough energy to shower and get dressed, so I went out and bought some avacado, banana and yogurt for a smoothie which didn't turn out so great. Then my best friend Nikki came by to see me which was awesome and I've just been lying around ever since she left. My mood has dropped since then, I'm miserable and hungry and my family is full of crackheads. Or at least I wish it was.

Most of my pain is located up on my temple and skull above my ear, on the left. Other than that I only get pain in my joints on the right side when my elastics are off.

Swelling is at a stand still basically but I don't even look like I have any.

Bruising is almost gone, still quite bad on my wrist and neck.

Inconvenience is so much I can't even tell you. I hate this so much.

Since things have slowed down I'll try to update but if I forget a day or so forgive me.

Talk to you all laterrr

Day 6 post op: Hungry and Anxious

So today marks day 6 post op and I must say, I AM MISERABLE.

My pain isn't so bad, it's bearable, but I've been having all my pain in my right cheek, by my joints and in my stitches. If I press along my cheek bone and my cheek, along towards the skin above my lips, it's very tender  and sore. But on the left side, there's no pain.

I've accidentally ate a few things that have seeds/seasoning/spices in it, and I'm afraid that they got in my incisions and are becoming an infection. I have antibiotics prescribed to me but I don't know if I'm supposed to take them before or after I get an infection. And of course, I didn't go to see my surgeons partner today, since I'm feeling better and the appointment was only to be kept if I was still in dire pain.

I'm very cranky and pissed off, I've never been so hungry in my entire life. All I want to do is fucking eat.

I've even broke the rules a few times and fit in tiny tiny tiny pieces of cupcake, cooked onion, jello... I didn't have to chew these pieces, but I still feel bad for doing it.

Also I'm second guessing everything I'm doing. Apparently my surgeons partner told my dad I can keep my elastics off for a couple days if I want, and my dad doesn't seem to think I need to take the antibiotics until I actually get an infection, which I don't know is right, but of course I can't call and ask my surgeons partner cause he's taken on double the clients with my surgeon being on vacation and so he's very busy. Also I don't know if I'm eating properly. Like, everything is still liquids, but this is how I eat:

open my mouth
take food in my mouth
close my mouth
swallow
open mouth
repeat

Doesn't that sound like chewing to you?
And I'm not allowed to chew.
I am so full of anxiety that I'm doing this wrong that I can't relax.


On top of all that, everyone that I speak to, either on my blog or instagram or Youtube, all has surgeons that have given them specific instructions. For example, sleep propped up, or Don't take off your elastics. So I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong. So overwhelmed right now.

Luckily my mom just came home with a lot of V8 drinks and cocktails, and my favourite Sweet potato and leek soup, which has been blended and is going into my tummy as I'm typing.

So a quick update on my swelling and bruising and whatnot:
Swelling: Has come down dramatically. I basically look back to normal, which makes me even more excited to see these 2/3/6 month results.
Bruising: Still very yellow, still very obvious.
Pain: Most of my pain is on the right side, in my joints and stitches, and short bursts of pain in my lower plate and screws (still right side)
Hunger: 100000/10
Inconvienience: over 9000
Energy: Very low

Updates tomorrow

Day 5 post op

Today was the bast day I've had so far, besides the fact that I have a bit of an episode a couple hours after I woke up.

So I'll start from the beginning: I woke up around 7:30 today, giving me 6 and a half hours of sleep! Much of an improvement considering I'd sleep for 4 hours and then wake up in agony. I gave myself some medication and fell back asleep around 8 to 12, when Evan came in.

We decided to watch a movie right away, however I was really dehydrated and not knowing it. By the end of the movie I was hot, uncomfortable, and struggling to breathe. Had a bit of a panic attack, but finally got some medication in and a lot of apple sauce and water.

Evan then took me for a walk around the block, which was okay for about half of it, but going uphill on the way back was too much and I became too weak. Evan basically had to carry me back to the house.

When I came back I ate a lot of sorbet, which actually ended up having seeds in it... I swear it was just the colouring. During this time I watched Reba on DVD and was trying so hard not to laugh or smile, but a couple times I accidentally snorted or blew a bit through my nose while trying to keep myself from laughing. It freaked me out a bit, but I was still able to breathe through my nose, so I thought I was fine. But when I went to rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth, a HUGE chunk of blood made it's way out of my mouth. Scary shit. Now I'm struggling to breathe out of one nostril.

The good news about that is that I can actually open my mouth enough to get my toothbrush in and brush my tongue and the inside of my teeth.

Overall I think I'm healing much faster than intended. The only pain I've had today was in my joints, and once I took my pain medication the only soreness has been in my stitches, as I'm actually able to smile quite well and open my mouth quite a bit. I spent most of the day without elastics on, since my surgeons said I could, but I'm keeping them on now in fear that it will change my bite if I don't. 

My pain level has gone up and down, but lately has stayed at a 4/10. My discomfort has been about a 5/10. 

My swelling has gone down so much I can't believe it. I almost look the way I did before surgery. I have a bit of puffyness in the bottom of the right side of my cheek, and some on the side of my nose on the left. But other than that, everything looks pretty symmetrical. Also, 80% of the swelling under my chin has disappeared.

My numbness has basically become nothing. It's in my lower lip and chin and under my left eye, but that's it.

My bruising is still very yellow, and very obvious. That will probably go away in a few days though.

I've had lots of ice cream and apple sauce so my energy hasn't been too bad since I went for a walk.

I'm hoping that I just heal quite fast and that this isn't a sign that anything bad is actually happening, and I hope I didn't screw up my new sinuses by blowing a bit through them.

I don't think I ever mentioned what they found in my nasal passage did I?

Well even if I did, I'll explain it again.

So while they were doing the surgery, they opened up my nasal passage and found a bone spur. Basically, my surgeon thinks that when I was very young, the bones around my nasal cavity just started growing this little piece of bone - I guess you could call it a deformity. So when you see a skull, and you see 2 holes where your nose is, my left(?) nose hole had a piece of bone growing through my sinuses. Weird.

Also, apparently my sinuses were "really messed up" as my surgeon put it. All twisted and weird, which my mom thinks is hereditary, as she has horrible sinuses. She gets sinus infections 3 times a year.

So he fixed it all up and I have brand new sinuses! Woohoo.

I'm still suprised I can breathe through them so early in the healing process. 

I'm seeing my surgeons partner again tomorrow, to ask him a few questions and tell him about how I can breathe so soon, and if I can eat mashed potatoes yet and bla bla bla. So I shall update tomorrow!!

I've been horrible with pictures, and I can't find my good webcam, but I managed to take front view and side profile pictures on my shitty webcam. Here's to being almost a week post op!

5 Days post op Front View

Right side of my profile

Left side of my profile

Day 4 post op

So today has been as big of a struggle as the last couple days. My energy is so low because of the fact that anything with protein in it makes me violently ill, so I've barely been walking around.

The pain has decreased though, even if it's just a little bit. Most of my pain has moved towards my joints and my temples. However, I still get pretty severe pain in my stitches and where they cut my bone.

I somehow managed today to take a shower, which was actually quite horrible because I had no energy to even lift my arms. I had to sit in the shower and it took me 40 minutes to wash my hair and shave under my arms.

Then I got dressed and went to see my surgeons partner. He said everything was going good, he says I'm doing a good job at brushing my teeth and taking my elastics on and off. He says that I need to walk around more though, and that everything I'm feeling is perfectly natural.

And then on the way home my mom closed the car window on my wrist. OUCH.

My bruising has peaked today, it's basically just yellow. Not much bruising. And my swelling has gone down tremendously since yesterday.

I weighed myself today, as I did 2 days ago, and I've lost 5 pounds already. I am now 110 pounds. I look anorexic.

Evan is finally coming home tomorrow, even if it's only for a couple days. He's going to take me for a walk around my street, since I need to get walking more.

My pain level is about a 6/10 and my discomfort is a 8/10.

The only 3 words I keep saying over and over again is: Kill Me Now.

Day 2 and 3 post op

I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I should, but the last 2 days have kind of melted together.

First off I'd like to say that I regret this a lot. I can feel tension and pain in my joints, which, I could be wrong, but indicates TMJ, which I didn't have before. It's probably just my muscles tensing up, but I'm really on edge about everything.

The last 2 days have been unbelievably hard. Most of my time I've spent crying because I've been in so much pain. My medication I have to crush up, dissolve, and then mix with something and drink it. But the Ibuprofen and percs taste absolutely horrible, and 90% of the time I've been unbearably nauseous. The only thing to mask the taste is thick yogurt or apple sauce, which is incredibly hard to take with your jaw basically wired shut, so I've been having to take off my elastics and open my mouth a little bit (not much though cause my face is too tensed up) and that hurts a lot.

When I manage to take my medication though, I become so out of it, so sleepy, that I'm in and out of consciousness for hours. It takes me about 2 hours to fully regain consciousness after I wake up. I hate being like that. But, I'd rather be like that then dealing with this pain.

My parents called my surgeons partner today, he helped my surgeon with the surgery. He faxed over a prescription for a heavy heavy anti - nausea drug, and so far I'm loving it. It's the kind that you get prescribed when you have cancer and going through Chemotherapy. I'm actually managing to eat yogurt and jello and all kinds of food. It's difficult but I feel a lot better than I have been the last few days.

Numbness
I'm actually surprised at how much I'm not numb. I have feeling in my upper lip, my nose, most of my cheeks, under one eye, the only place there's noticeable numbness is my chin and lower lip, but even in my lower lip it just feels like I bit it and have been holding onto it for a few hours. So, kind of a tingly painful numb.

I just can't wait for Week One to be over. I've been grumpy, in a lot of pain and nausea, and I definitely wish I didn't do this.
I'm seeing my surgeons partner tomorrow so I'll update then.
TTFN

0 - 1 day post op!!!

I'm finally on the other side of the electical saw!!

This is my account of yesterday and today.

Yesterday:

So we are all up at 7:45. My anxiety is pretty bad but I handle it. We get in the car by 8:20 and are at the hospital by 8:30. I go to the registration office and register, then go upstairs a floor to where they "interview me" and get me dressed in my gown and everything. They even put a wrist label around Lamby's neck so no one takes her. Then I get taken into another room, lie in that bed for about 10 minutes, until I get taken to the Operation Room. I get helped up onto the operating bed, and my surgeon and an anesthesiologist comes in, along with my surgeons business partner. My surgeon tries to keep me as calm as possible while they're inserting my IV and the freezing tube into my artery. Everything starts to get a little spiny, and they put an oxygen mask on me to keep my breathing normal. Next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room.

I think I keep yelling that I felt sick. I think people kept having to give me different medications until they used gravol and it settled my stomach. Then my surgeon came in and I asked him if I could see my mom - He said she wasn't allowed in the recovery room. about an hour and a half later I was taken to a room called the SAC U... No idea what that means. I was rolled onto the bed in that room filled with old people and I stayed there all night. I slept between 3 am and 5 am. The other times I kept calling the nurse and asking her to give me more nausea medications. I think I passed in and out of consciousness when my family was visiting between 5:30 and 8:30 pm. During the night I got up a few times to go pee. At one point I was severely pouring blood out of my nose.

1 day post-op

At some point this morning I tried drinking out of a straw. I was also walked around the floor to get used to walking again and gain some strength. My surgeon came in around 10:30 and told me everything I need to know. I need to purchase 200mg Ibuprofens, some Junior Tylenol, preferably chew-able, and he will write me a prescription for T3's. I need to crush them up, dissolve them in hot water, and then mix them with something to get it down. He gave me scissors to cut the elastics on my braces, and some extra elastics, so if I'm having trouble breathing I can cut the elastics, or if I want to fit in some ice cream and take medication without crushing it up and dissolving it, then I can do that. My mouth is so gooey however, that I'd rather not do that for a few days. He then said he was going on vacation tonight and that if there were any issues to contact his partner. My parents came in around 12 pm and I left with them to go home. I actually couldn't believe my surgeon was dismissing me so early. I had only been at the hospital for a total of 27 and a half hours. But he believed I was fine enough to go home, so I did.

Since I got home

It's been pure hell ever since I got home. The T3's are so disgusting crushed up that I gag every time I take some, yet without them and the Ibuprofen I am in so much agony I can't stop crying. Evan went and got some apple juice, so now I can mix the T3's with the juice and get it down, but there's just so much apple juice to drink and not much room in my mouth. When the medications wear off my pain is an 11/10. My discomfort at the moment is 10/10. I regret this decision hugely at the moment. I know when I'm healed I wont, but right now I wish I never did it.

Hopefully tomorrow the pain will have decreased and I'll be able to sit here and give a detailed account of what they ended up doing, and what they actually found in my nasal passage. Right now I'm too nauseous to continue this post so I'll talk to everyone tomorrow!

All in all, I'm glad I'm finally post-op.

Surgery tomorrow!!

Wow, I can't believe I'm actually going in for surgery tomorrow.
I'm actually in denial I think, I have random moments of anxiety but then I'm fine.

Everything I need for at least the first week has been purchased. My humidifier is working like a charm, and now Evan and I are just sitting here on our laptops.

I have no idea what I'm going to have for my last meal, but I hope it's good. Maybe chicken. Who knows.

The last thing I need to do is pack my bag for tomorrow... So far this is what I'm bringing.

• Slippers
• Sweater
• Baby toothbrush
• Mouthwash given to me by my surgeon
• Lamby

Lamby is my stuffed animal (a lamb, obviously) that I've had literally since the day I was born. She's no longer pink, and the polka dots have faded, and her nose is half falling off, but she's like my security blanket :)

Since this is my last pre-op post, I'll just quickly go over what my surgeon is doing:

He's moving my upper jaw 3mm up and 4mm forward. My lower jaw is being moved 8mm forward and rotated upward slightly. Somehow while doing this he's changing the plane of my bite, and somehow this is opening up my airways so I can breathe twice as much.
Because of my cold, he's putting a nasal tube in my nose. I'm praying to god they're gonna put a tube through my nose into my stomach cause I definitely don't want to throw up blood. Actually, I definitely don't want to throw up at all.

Thanks to everyone who has read my blog through these last few months of being pre-op. I'm very happy to get on the other side of the electrical saw and start the healing process! Hopefully it's a good recovery and I don't swell too much.

I'll post when I get back from the hospital!! eeeeek

I've been cleared!!!

So I am very happy to report that I went to my surgeons today and have been cleared for surgery!! I will still be getting it done in two days :)

I got a lousy sleep last night, which sucked, but I woke up and dropped mom off at work. Then I went back home and a few hours later I went to my surgeons office.
I walked into the room that my parents and I were in the last time we were there.
My surgeon walks in with this bigger man, and he introduced himself as the anesthesiologist. Him and my surgeon then took a tongue depressor and jabbed it all the way to the back of my tongue, and I could hear them say things like "swollen glands" and "swollen tonsils" and such. I expected that much, my tonsils always swell up and it's really annoying.

Then the anesthesiologist told me he was gonna check my chest. He put the stethoscope (or whatever it's called) to my throat, then my chest, and then on my back. When he was on my chest though he went basically in my bra and I was like oh this is weird. But whatever. Then he said my chest was cleared and I was like woohoo!!

Then he asked me if I actually feel sick. I said no. Which, I don't. I'm just tired all the time lol. I'm putting that down to either oversleeping or not sleeping enough. Then they looked in my nose and the anesthesiologist made some comments to my surgeon and my surgeon responded that I'll need a nasal tube. Then the bad part... My surgeon asked if I have any nasal congestion. I thought this meant pressure in my nose and like sinus swelling or something, so I said no, and that I only blew my nose a couple times a day.
Which, I then later found out that nasal congestion means stuffy nose and I pretty much still have that. And I may have under exaggerated how many times I blow my nose a day. In realistic terms I'd say 5 times a day, maybe a bit more, but definitely not over 10. I don't know why I said 2, I think it's because all I remembered was barely blowing my nose yesterday or today. Ugh, I don't know.

But it scares me now cause it's like, is that incredibly important information? Are the chances of me dying greater now that you think I don't have any congestion in my nose?

Anyways, to finish off the appointment he took all these pictures of me - Well, of my face - and then gave me an anti-microbial mouth wash that I need to start brushing with tonight.

In the meantime, I'm trying to clean my room as fast as possible, so I can just lie down and rest and drink lots of water and get better before surgery.

Last night I had my last steak - I'm going to miss steak so much :(

Overwhelmed!!!

So today not only is my cold somehow getting worse but I have a million things I have to do and I can't because my surgeon has put me on bed rest. But of course that doesn't stop my mother from making me clean everything

This morning I woke up and my sore throat was basically non-existent. I was incredibly happy until a few hours ago when I blew my nose and it was all yellow. Not clear, as it used to be. But yellow.
I can FEEL the phlegm in my chest and throat, and of course I don't have any decongestant yet.
I get dizzy when I try to cough anything out.
I know this is gross but I'm dizzy right now and I frankly do not care.

Also my boyfriend is a dingus for actually thinking he can get a butterfly knife across the border.

So on top of worrying about me being sick, and worrying about if I can actually have the surgery. and worrying about actually having the surgery, I still have so much shit to do in preparation that I have become so overwhelmed. How am I supposed to do all of this when I'm on bed rest? HUH?

Ugh. I wish it was 2 months from now. My surgery would be done and I'd be chewing food and I wouldn't be sick or worrying about any of this.

Tomorrow is my appointment with my surgeon, and it is a very important appointment because that's when I figure out if I can have the surgery or not. Fingers crossed I can!!!

Yellow Light?

Since surgery is 4 days away I'm probably going to be posting everyday, just because there's so much information :)

So in my last post I was freaking out about being sick/ rattling in my lungs. Today I went to the walk in clinic and the doctor assured me that I don't have a sinus infection or bronchitis, which made me SO happy, because I am very prone to bronchitis. So he did say that he heard some congestion in my chest, and just to take over the counter All-In-One Decongestant. I haven't bought that yet but I found some stuff in my house that worked until tomorrow when I buy some more.
The doctor said he suspects I'll be only getting better from here, so I got home and called my surgeon, which was kind of frustrating.
The woman who answered the phone seemed reluctant to let me speak to my surgeon, and suggested I just tell him tomorrow when I see him for the "Photo Shoot". When I insisted, she put me on hold for a few minutes, then suddenly picked up the phone and said "Hello Allison?" I said "This is Rebecca" and she said "Oh one minute" and HUNG UP.

I was like what the hell... So I waited a few minutes, then decided to wait until I see him tomorrow. I checked the voicemails and somehow the lady left a voicemail without even calling, and said my surgeon would like to speak to me ASAP. So I called back and told him everything. He asked me how I was generally feeling and I said I feel great except for the congestion in my chest.

So after a while of talking, my surgeon said he's pretty sure we can still go ahead with the operation, but that he wants to move my appointment from tomorrow to Wednesday, because an Anesthesiologist comes in on Wednesdays and Fridays and he wants her or him to check me out to make sure I can receive General anesthetic. So Basically it's like I'm at a yellow light, waiting for the OK.

This SUCKS. Not only did I JUST get the ability to breathe through my nose back, but I'm still congested, and in 4 days I won't be able to breathe through my nose again (If I get the OK)

But, I am to go along as if the whole thing is still happening. So I have plans to clean and prepare everything tomorrow.

In other news, my family is walking around like nothing is about to happen. My sister is complaining constantly about how everyone is paying more attention to the fact that I'm sick, rather than to the fact that she's sick. She went on this rampage about how I do nothing with my life and bla bla bla. So now my parents are catering to that bitch. I'm literally 4 days away and I'm not even close to ready. I'm sick so I can't leave the house to go buy everything I need, so my mom has to do everything I should be doing. I could do it by myself, but my surgeon basically put me on bed rest until I see him. 

In regards to how I'm feeling... I'm scared. Nervous. Anxious. Everything that I should be feeling at this point. I'm sad to see my old face go, but excited to embrace the new one. It's not going to be a huge change, my surgeon says. But still a change.

I'll update tomorrow on my sickness and everything that's going on :)

Anxiety/Still very sick

So 95% of my cold has disappeared. However, I'm still blowing my nose, and now there's rumbling in my throat/lungs. I'm freaking out. If I can't do the surgery I'm going to cry.

On top of this, because I am feeling a lot better, my anxiety is kicking in. Surgery is only 4 and a half days away... So either I don't get to do the surgery and be disappointed forever, or I do get to do it and I have panic attacks every day. Woohoo I love being pre-op...

I'm so stressed I'm not thinking straight. I'll know for sure in the next couple days whether or not I can do the surgery.

I'll update when I know anything

:(

Surgery Update: Surgical Hooks on and ONE WEEK TO GO

Hello again everyone!!
I am happy to tell you all that I finally got my surgical hooks on!!!

I went in today and got them hooked onto my braces, the cool thing is that they're bendable so i can bend them in such a way so they don't annoy me. But at the same time it worries me that they won't be strong enough to hold onto the elastics post-surgery. Oh well, we'll see.

This is what they look like:

Excuse my ripped up lips, when I get anxiety I tend to tear them apart.


ONE WEEK TO GO!!!
My anxiety isn't that bad right now. I'm actually very excited to see my new face... Well kind of. I keep looking at all the old pictures of me and my boyfriend, or me and my friends/family, and I'm finding myself sad that I'll never be like that anymore, that eventually I'll look at these pictures and not recognize myself, basically like looking a stranger. But I'm keeping optimistic. I'm just excited to get the first week over and done with...

So anyways, when I saw my orthodontist, I was having a bad case of sniffles, since my cold is still going strong. He said that if I still have a cold by surgery time then it might not happen. NOT impressed. I will admit, I wasn't the nicest to my boyfriend for a couple hours after that, who gave me the cold.

In more surgery related news, my surgeons office called yesterday and said my surgeon wants to take a photo shoot with me this upcoming Tuesday; I guess to make sure that everything he's doing to my face won't make me look funny. I actually don't know why. But the lady I spoke to and I both laughed at the thought of having a photo shoot with my surgeon lmfao.

Nothing else is new other than that though. Today I got a hair cut & ombre highlights, just so I can still feel slightly pretty after surgery. You can't really notice them to be honest. They're very subtle. The cool thing is that they'll lighten in the sun this summer and then my hairdresser and I were thinking of dying my hair RED... oooooh.
 I also did most of my surgery/post-op shopping today but I still need to get more stuff, and I'm just nursing my cold basically. I pray to god that I don't get a sinus infection like my boyfriend did, and that I'm fine for surgery. I've waited 3 years for this, and my surgeon is away on vacation the following week, so I refuse to postpone this any longer.

Once I finishing buying all the shit I need for surgery I'll post pictures of it all :)

I shall leave you with a picture I just took of sick Becca with her new haaaaaaiiirr chillin beside a Honey Badger
TTFN
Ta Ta For Now

NO GENIOPLASTY

As if i'm making a post less than a day after my previous one,
but I have huge news!!!


So I woke up this morning and was totally bored, as per usual, so I decided to go play some piano. The phone rings and my sister yells that it's my surgeon, so I rush to answer it. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Surgeon: Hi, is this Rebecca?
Me: Yep
Surgeon: Can I speak to your mom?

Um. What.
So I hand the phone to mom, she answers, continually saying "okay..." every few seconds. She breaks out in a smile and gives me a thumbs up, then shakes her head while pointing to her chin, which indicated that my surgeon was saying no Genioplasty. I was so confused, so when she finally got off the phone with him, she tried to explain everything to me as best as she could but she's pretty bad at it and not only that, but she didn't ask my surgeon any of the questions that I need to know.

Basically she said that he said he did a "Mock surgery" and realized I don't need it. Also, he mentioned something about my airways being more open after they are done with my upper jaw. He also told mom that I should call him back if I had any questions, so I wrote down a few and gave him a call.

Once I got him on the phone and explained that my mom is bad at explaining things, he burst out laughing. Then explained everything I need to know. I zoned out through some parts, but I know that he said that when he did measurements and put pieces together and bla bla bla (the mock surgery) he said that the lift he is giving to my lower jaw will give me enough of a chin to look proportionate, and I thiiiink (I hope) he meant that it will give me the support in my lower lip that the Genioplasty would have done anyways. He also made an example of a tongue depressor or cigar being bit by your molars and how it goes on an angle and mine is too steep so he's fixing the "Plane" of my bite while doing my upper jaw, so it'll open up my airways TWICE as much, making my snoring almost gone and have little to no chance of developing sleep apnea.

However, he is moving my jaw outwards as well, so I asked him if this is going to change the shape of my nose, and he said a little. He explained that whenever you move your bones, your soft tissue moves half as much. So because of my upper jaw moving out 4mm, my nose will move about 2mm. I told him that my nose  kind of points up at the end so I'm afraid that I'll develop a "piggy nose", and he said that he's doing minimal movement so that most likely won't happen, but you never know. So my concern has gone from having permanent feeling loss in my chin/lower lip, to having a pig nose.

Oh well, we'll see what the surgery brings. I'm very excited actually, but at the same time concerned because my surgeon said the Genioplasty will help shut my lips and now that it's not happening, I don't know if my lips will be as shut. Probably. I don't know.

I need to chill. He's a good surgeon and I'm being stupid.

Anyways if anything else changes or if I call and get more information out of him, then I'll update again :)

SICK

Sick, I am sick.

SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK

It actually isn't that bad, a little sore throat, but since my boyfriend gave it to me and he's coughing up nasty crap, I'm assuming that will happen to me too.

A week and a half pre-op too!!! I hope I'm better for the surgery.

First off I want to apologize for having my tags say "underbite" as I am stupid and for some reason put that there. I have an OVERBITE. not Underbite.

Also I should probably start communicating more with other people on their blogs because I just assumed you don't know who's following you, but I came on Blogger 5 minutes ago and it said I had one follower!!! So to my one follower I LOVE YOU :)

I think my goal is to get my followers. Just so I know I'm actually sharing my journey through all of this with people, you know?

What else is going on in my boring life....

My mom started having a panic attack over some of the things I was saying today about my surgery. She freaks out over everything. I was trying to explain to her, that if I could do all of this over again, I'd choose my own orthodontist, I'd choose my surgeon, I'd get second opinions, because I never did that. I was just handed whoever. Who knows, maybe I'd prefer another surgeon over my current one. Not to say my current one is unqualified.

I'm terrified about throwing up after surgery!!! Helpppp. My surgeon said that only 1 in 20 of his patients throw up after surgery but KILL ME I swear to god I'm going to be that person. I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch so sorry if I do haha.

I literally have nothing to talk about... maybe The Walking Dead?
Who saw the season finale tonight?
Seriously not what I expected it to be. I'm not gonna put any spoilers but holy shit.

This post is getting to be pointless.

I hope everyone had an incredible Easter weekend or Passover! I'll post soon.. getting my hair done soon so maybe I'll post pictures. WHO KNOWS.